Comments on: Broken

By: Martha

Martha — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:05:46 +0000

Boo, your grief touches me deeply and I wish for you to find peace. I have a picture on my wall too, of my cousin who was like my brother. I don’t think my husband even really knows who that picture is and why it is important to me. No one asks. Last year when I went to my uncle’s funeral, I found his headstone in the cemetery and that hurt more than the funeral I had just been in. But…but somehow with the strength of family around us, it became the right time for me to lay down the burden of grief for George. Though I still cry at times considering the absence in my life, and I still find it frustrating trying to explain the absolute idolatry I had for him as a young girl, I cherish the few years we had together and the deep impression he left on me in just 16 short years. You never have to forget your brother, but at some point I hope that you will come to a place where you can rejoice at his living rather than feel the anguish of his leaving. Hugs from here!!!

By: Mum

Mum — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:38:28 +0000

Hi Boo

I am still unable to put Terry on the wall for many reasons. He is in a part of my heart that stays pretty well locked because I have had more practice than some with loss, life…and death.
I am not mourning but celebrating his life for the brief period that we all had with him. I could have many regrets but they serve no useful purpose.
We have had so much more than others and more will have suffered a lot more but I guess that doesn’t help Boo.
He would want you to face the future and remember him for the fun times not the lost times.
You are the one who misses what he cannot experience. He is forever 24. If his life taught us nothing else it taught us all to take charge of your lives and live everyday, don’t waste a moment.
If he was here he would say get on with it because you have to…and guess what you can and you do most days.
Mourn missed opportunities but not what you cannot change. He would want you to live and live your life to the full as he did – the amount of time is irrelevant.

Love him, you don’t have to forget but we need to let him go

Love Mum (to both of you)

By: Cosmic

Cosmic — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 06:50:41 +0000

*hugs* Boo

By: Arija

Arija — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 01:42:22 +0000

It is also the loss of your shared memories of childhood and growing up…

By: Jodi

Jodi — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:03:18 +0000

Your words come at a time in my life where I completely understand you. I used to think I knew what Grief was until 3months ago at 51 Mum died. I had had plans too and she was in them, I even had plans for her….travelling with Dad around Australia. For me it is fresh, raw, and very very painful and I honestly dont thinnk it’ll get easier.
I remember Terry like he was here yesterday, full of live, energy and carisma. He for a while was a good friend to me, sort of like that older brother I never had.
How he would drop in to see Mum and Dad and raid the cupboards for biscuts and lollies or how he loved his metal music….LOUD but when he first got is P’s and borrowed my Dads kingswood he would not even turn the radio on (deep in concentration I guess lol).
I remember the last time I saw Terry, it was in the Brunswick swimming pool and we was on one of his training kicks again. We chatted for a bit ( dont even know what it was about) but all the while I was busting to tell him I was almost 3 months pregnant…It would have been like telling a brother but for what ever reason I didnt tell him. The next week or so Mum rang me and said I should go over to her place, she had something to tell me. She sat me down and told me and honestly I lost a piece of my heart that day that will never return.
I go to the cemetery and sit with him every now and then and always end up in tears. I look around at the grave sites around him and they are all elderly and right in the middle there is Terry. I clean his plaque and talk to him, on time is was hoe bad Metallica’s album St Anger was crap and he would be discusted.
I cant listen to Mama Said without balling my eyes out but in a way i feel closer to him when I do listen to it.
Look at that photo on the wall and be proud everyday and say with pride that he was and always will be your brother..until the wheels of time turn hold him in your heart and someday you will meet up with him again but until then just know all you have to do is call his name and he will be there.
Because I knew Him I am here for you, You want to talk about him for hours and just need someone to listen I am here.

Take Care Boo, you are not alone