I’d been asking him to call his MS nurse that entire time just to discuss it all with her. But I think he was in a bit of denial. Not to mention that his school year is coming to an end soon and it would be the worst time of all to miss a lot of school.

Finally, he came home and admitted that he had pins and needles or numbness through his right hand. Where the last attack was his left. So we made all of the call’s we needed to make and Tim once again, sat in the ER waiting to be seen by a Doctor. He was treated really well. Even visited by the ward manager. We wonder if it was because just three days before hand I’d sent in my complaint and they put two and two together. They must have thought…treating one of them is bad enough…treating both of them badly is A Current Affair worthy.

Well, they gave him two treatments of steroids. Which will slow things down or halt it all together. But we’re still unsure if it WAS an attack or IS an attack. Until he get’s to have another MRI we wont know. But we suspect that if it IS an attack he will need to return for another (full) treatment of steroids. We don’t know at this point.

Multiple Sclerosis, aside from being a hard word to spell correctly every time, is a scary disease. So much of it is unknown. So much of the process for diagnosis is “hurry up and wait.”

You want to do the tests, you want to find the answer’s. You want to do everything you possibly can to be able to take control and start treatment. But you just can’t do it. You have to wait.

You have to wait to find out what kind of MS you have. You have to wait for MRI results, lumbar puncture results, for medication to begin. In the mean time, you don’t know. You just wait.

And while you wait, you read. Everything you can get your hands on. But that sometimes makes things much worse. You get to see the worst case scenario’s. Wheel chairs, suicidal tendencies. Disability. All very frightening, but very real. Even if right now they don’t apply…and may never apply….the possibilities are there and they’re terrifying.

Really, Tim’s Dr’s have been great. They’re supportive and informative. They have made themselves available to him whenever he’s had questions or needed advice about anything he has questions about. But aside from offering advice about what drugs he’ll soon need to start taking and life style changes that he could make (more rest, don’t over do it), no mention of any other successful treatments has been mentioned. No natural therapies, no this or that.

So I’m happy to have found a wonderful site. And perhaps some real hope in all of the unknown quantities that we’re now faced with.

It seems that a very long time ago, a study was taken out over 34 years. A study that investigated the relationship between the amount of fat in the diets of MS sufferer’s. It seems that there is in fact a connection between the amount of fat you eat, and the progression of MS itself. The less fat you eat, the more chance you have of living a normal life with little or no physical disability over time.

Of course, each case is individual. And I’m sure there are plenty of Dr’s who would say this is utter bullshit. But what could be the harm in trying right? What could possibly go wrong if we decided to give a very low fat diet a go?? Which of course, we will be. Once we’ve learned where to start.

If you’d like to do some reading about this research, or even read some of the testimonial’s, research about oil’s and supplements that could or can help with MS…here’s a great place to start.

The Swank Diet (they call themselves Swankers, kinda funny!)

It’s just been nice over the last couple of hours to see so many people with MS who have so much confidence in this special diet. To see that aside from the medications, which can not cure or stop but only slow down the progression of MS symptoms, there is another option. There is something that we can do to take control of this shit we’ve been handed. It’s nice to read stories from real people, who after starting the diet…have had fewer attacks. Less aggressive attacks. And many of them, after 35-40 years of living with MS are still walking. Still functioning like they don’t have MS at all.

He’s doing really well, and it looks as though he’ll be A-OK for returning to work and driving. Though we don’t know when that will be as yet.

At rehab, he does occupational therapy. Or TORTURE as Tim call’s it.

They do silly things to get his hand working. Like using pegs, picking up coins, undoing and redoing buttons. Unlocking and locking locks, nuts and bolts and playing with plasticine. Writing.

All things which he complains about. But the reality is, it works. And it’s helping.

He’s doing so well. So despite the bitching, we’re seeing a lot of progress. Four weeks ago he couldn’t hold a pen to save his life, but now he can. Four weeks ago he couldn’t reach for something without missing it completely and now he can. I’m really pleased to go along with him and see each day what his improvements are.

It’s easy for everyone to offer that advice. It’s even easy enough to say you ARE staying positive. But on days like today, it’s just not enough.

Days when nothing is going right. When you don’t know what the future holds and where it’s going to take you.

Granted, no one knows what the future holds or where it’s going to take them. But you live day to day and you just get there.

At the moment, we don’t know if Tim has his job or doesn’t have his job. We don’t know if his rehab is going to help his hand or if he has lost the proper use of it or not. We don’t know if his body is going to respond to the drug treatment that he’ll eventually be put on. We don’t know if we’ll be able to put food on the table next week, much less keep the roof over our heads. We don’t know anything.

The jokes have all run out and I’m telling you now, staying positive only gets us so far. It’s getting hard to get out of bed and smile. The stress levels around here are out of control. Every time I wake up and Tim is in bed next to me I’m reminded that he’s not at work, not getting paid and not sure if he’ll be going back. Every time Tim drops something, can’t open a jar, shave his own face, carry his son or needs help to do the smallest things, he’s reminded that something is not right and it’s never going to go away.

Though he looks 100% fine, he’s not. Though I smile and say we’re doing ok…we’re not.

Right now, the fear of the unknown is stronger than our ability to remain upbeat and positive about this blow that has been given us. It seems that any time Tim and I finally think and feel we’re on our way to doing the things we want to do…and actually have the ability to do that….something get’s thrown our way. And every now and then, though we remain as positive as we can…we just want to throw our arms in the air and yell “Why me?” or “I give up”

I came out of hospital after my first round of steroids and I’ve spoken to a lot of friends who would have called me to say hi, but didn’t know what exactly to say.

The problem is that people don’t know what MS is. Or what it means. Many people I’ve spoken to have known other people with it and they were terrified that I was like that. They assumed the worst.

The treatments for MS have changed. It’s not an easy diagnosis. But at the same time it is manageable and I may never know I even have MS.

Boo and I made up a video last night to show you. Because when people first heard about this, they assumed I was in a wheelchair, or couldn’t talk. Or went blind. Worst case scenario’s which don’t apply to me.

For the moment, I’ve lost the ability to use my left hand. I’m left handed so it will take time to adjust. With medication I might just get it back too. Best case scenario.

I’m still me. I’m still crazy. I’m still the same old Tim that everyone knows and hopefully loves

Click here to view the embedded video.

Comments would be appreciated. I don’t know what it’s like to be on the other side of the fence. What did you think and feel when you heard about my diagnosis?