Thanks to the world of facebook, I very often come across sayings that other friends have found that hit a chord. I thought I’d start sharing. These are the thoughts that make me want to raise my kids RIGHT. Like old school gentleman.

The four hardest tasks on earth are neither physical nor intellectual feats, but spiritual ones: To return love for hate; to include the excluded; to forgive without apology, and to be able to say “I was wrong”.

How true, right??

I mentioned in an earlier post that while I was still suffering from sciatic and back pain I had to go to hospital for an overnight stay. I was treated very badly and this is just the start of my official complaint letter. I can’t sit at the computer for huge amount of time so the letter will take a while. There are four or five more incidents similar to this one and I’ll share it all here as I get through my letter.

This day, was by far the worst day of my life. I could not move. If I did any number of muscles would seize up. Sometimes for more than ten minutes at a time. If you could imagine a charlie horse cramp in your leg and then imagine them happening…in every muscle of your back all at once. Or in every muscle of your back all at once as well as all of one side of your body. Imagine having a cramp in your cheek muscle, right under your eye. In your neck, so you couldn’t ever turn left or right. In your big toes, in the arch of your foot. Having your achilles heel feel as if someone has grabbed it and is wringing it out just like a wet towel. I even had one of my eye lids seize up. It was much like my body was in labor, going through full body contractions that I could do absolutely nothing about. I physically could not move myself out of them and spent time frozen on the floor, the couch, in bed and in the bath.

This went on for more than ten hours before I decided it wasn’t going to stop and had to call an ambulance because I would not have been able to sit in the car without screaming all the way to hospital. My only relief was having Tim and Jaxon there to help me through it. To help me move out of a position just to try and stop the cramps. So going to hospital, was meant to be BETTER than the care my husband and four year old son could offer me at home.

It turned out to be the exact opposite in every way, and I will not sit here and let those heartless Dr’s and nurses get away scott free in regards to how I was treated over a 24 hour period.

As discussed on the phone I wish to make an official complaint about the treatment that I received in my recent visit to the Emergency Department of “said hospital”. I believe that the way I was treated for my 24 hour stay was unprofessional, unethical and at times, inhumane. I left the care of the facility feeling belittled traumatised and humiliated. I wish to bring this to your attention. I expect that serious attention will be given to this matter as I am extremely unhappy with how I was treated.

I wont go in to the details of my medical condition, as I know my medical files will tell you of my visits and history. For your information, you can contact Doctor Zaid whom I have been seeing for this issue for quite a few months now at the Health Care Centre in Hoppers Crossing for further records of my pain and management of said pain.

I will tell you that my leg pain started in the 32nd week of my pregnancy (November 2010) At that point it was mild sciatic pain in my upper leg. I expected it would go when I had my baby on December the 1^st 2010 but it continued to get worse after he was born. By the time I started seeing Dr Zaid eight weeks later, I was experiencing all sorts of sciatic and back pain and unable to walk, stand or hold my baby for more than a few minutes at a time. I have been house bound for months.

On the 27^th of July, at 1.30am I started to have full body cramps and spasms that could not be stopped. Perhaps you already know what sciatic pain can do to someone but I’d like to put it here, just so that the issue of the severity of my pain when I called the Ambulance cannot be questioned.

A sciatica muscle spasm is the most painful of all back and leg pain symptoms. Spasms occur when a muscle contracts violently and uncontrollably, ever tightening in a vice-like grip of shear agony.

For nearly 10 hours I stayed at home with my husband and two sons having cramps that would last up to ten minutes and occur up to three or four times an hour. I was desperate for relief when I finally called the ambulance.

They arrived and picked me up and I was brought to the Emergency Department. I was wheeled in to the entrance where I assumed we were waiting for a room to be seen by a Doctor. I was laying on the Ambulance gurney going through one of these attacks when I was told they were going to put me in the ED waiting room to wait for a room. Hearing this news, I had a panic attack, and could not move anything but my neck. I was hysterical and begging them not to take me in to a public place in that condition.

At this point I would like to mention that the male Ambulance officer who attended my pick up told me “Don’t you think you’re laying it on a bit thick?”

I was placed in a wheel chair, frozen in pain, crying and begging not to be left alone, and wheeled in to the emergency waiting room in this condition. The ambulance officers simply walked off without looking back. This, I must say, was the most humiliating experience I have ever had to endure in my entire life. And I’ve been through child birth twice. I had people staring at me. I had no way of contacting my husband to come and help me. I could not move to get my phone. And my cries for help from your staff were completely ignored.

I could not go through this again. It was just awful. I was crying. Jaxon was crying. And Tim had to watch as the love of his life lay writhing in pain on the floor.

If anyone would like to comment and help me get through this letter without it sounding too over the top or too rude (because I am furious now, I was just traumatized when this happened. Now I’m flaming mad!) please feel free to edit this or any other part I put up and put it in to the comments section so I can get it just right.

Imagine if you will, walking in to the garage to go to your car, which is parked just outside. And then imagine…that as the doors begin to lift, your four year old son starts to whimper and walk backwards for no reason that you can see.

Then, imagine, that…this….was standing nose to nose with your four year old. And how THAT went.

That, is what happened to US today!

Now, I’m a dog person. I’ve taken all sorts of lost dogs in and helped them find their owners rather than send them off to the pound. But THIS dog, was not a very nice dog. It let loose on us for a second and then ran down the street.

I took Jaxon to school. Dropped him off. And when I returned the dog was STILL in the street. Sitting under the veranda of a house across the street. I tried very hard to woo her. But she was un-woo-able. VERY un-woo-able.

I had no choice but to call the local ranger, who came within half an hour. But what a funny hour I had watching THEM trying to woo her!

Firstly, they pulled straight in to the drive way and nearly hit the dog, which promptly jumped up and attacked the car. They tried talking to her. They tried yelling at her to go in. All the while, not daring to get out of their car.

Then, they tried FOOD. But this un-woo-able dog was just getting a free feed. The ranger figured out she was well trained, would throw out some food, ask her to sit (which she would) and slowly bring her closer to the car where the driver lay in wait with that big long dog catching stick.

But each and every time they got her close enough to the car to grab her she simply ran back to the safety of her little alcove. This went on for 45 minutes. Being the nosy neighbour that I am I video taped all of this!) until they actually had to call in back up.

Well, the back up drove right up in to the drive way, got out of his van and yelled at the dog to get back inside like a mad man. So the dog, scared now…ran down the side way. Where this big burly man followed her, yelled some more and then caught her with his big long stick thingee.

I’ve barely mentioned here at all about my last 8 months of absolute misery and pain. Way back in 2003 I hurt my lower back. I couldn’t walk for about two weeks and then it went good. So nothing came of it. I had two flare ups. One at the end of 2008 and the other when we just got back from Queensland.

Then, when I got pregnant…I didn’t even get little niggles in my back. Not once. But I did however get a touch of sciatica in my left leg towards the very end. I got told it goes away once the baby is born.

But that wasn’t true for me. Because the sciatic pain was not being caused by the growing baby putting pressure on that nerve. It was in fact, a slipped disc getting worse. A slipped disc that was protruding and squeezing my sciatic nerve leading in to my left leg.

For a few weeks after Dexter was born it was mild pain that turned in to pins and needles towards the end of the day. Then it started getting sore almost as soon as I got up in the morning. It turned from a mild ache to a leg that was so sore I couldn’t walk on it for more than a few minutes at a time.

It was a pain like no other I have ever experienced. And Dexter’s 27 hour labor wasn’t a walk in the park, let me tell you! Sciatica pain moves and changes every few minutes. They call it chameleon pain. It doesn’t stay the same and it varies in intensity. For half an hour it would feel like someone was pushing in to my left ass cheek with a hot poker. Then, it would feel like my entire leg had been frozen solid. Or I’d have a dead foot with pins and needles that would radiate UP the leg in to my back if I stayed on it too long. Sometimes it felt like someone had put my achilles tendon in to a vice. Muscles would seize up and not release for hours. It didn’t matter what kind of pain it was, at every second of every day…there was some kind of unbearable pain making it impossible to walk on for more than a few minutes at a time.

I was house bound for about 5 months. Only leaving to visit Nanny and Poppy with Tim and the boys. I stopped being able to walk to do the weekly shop. I couldn’t pick Dexter up for more than a minute. Tim had to get me dressed or undressed some mornings and nights because I couldn’t bend my leg or my back. I had to sit on the floor in the shower. I couldn’t sit at the dinner table and I certainly could not stand in the kitchen long enough to cook a meal (even 2 minute noodles!) for the family. Tim had to take over almost every aspect of my life, from shopping to being a bit of my slave by getting called here and there through the house to help me with the boys. I had two visits to the ER, one home Dr visit and an ambulance ride in to hospital (where I was treated very badly, I should write about that!!)

Well, my girls! I’ve talked about them often and everyone I know knows who I am talking about by now. But all of a sudden we started getting cards and letters in the mail.

Three of them contained gift cards. Nearly $200 worth of money from people whom I’ve never met but have been incredibly close with since 2006.

They suggested that I pamper myself with it but I figured that would be a short term pick me up. I wanted to buy something with that money that reminded me that there are people all over the world who love and care for me!

This is what I did. Now, they will be with me…as long as I can keep those things alive!

From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of my girls who helped to contribute to those gift cards. And to those who didn’t but would have if they’d known about it…I thank you too. Because its the thought that counts. Just knowing that you would have been willing to contribute means the world to me. Your friendship and support is priceless!

Now I have to clean!!!!

I’m always telling Poppy that he is my one loyal reader. Probably the only person who checks to see if we’ve posted every day. Work gets slow sometimes you see

Anyway I thought I’d test the theory. And invite him over for roast dinner TONIGHT. The 25th of August.

You can let Tim know via text and he will let me know. I promise…it will be roast like you had when you were little. None of that funny stuff….just roast.

I will need to know by 4pm so I can cook for two extra.

I doubt I need to explain this one!

Last week he was barely crawling.

Now he keeps up with us about the house!!

I think I’ve mentioned here a few times now that when I got pregnant with Jaxon I joined an online forum of woman who were expecting their babies in the same month as me. That was back in April of 2006. Now, five years on, we are still the best of friends. I have not met a single one of them, until now.

Jeannette is from South Africa. Her first born son James, was born 7 days after Jaxon. She and I have spoken on the phone, sent texts and emails. But finally, she came out to visit us!!

I was so nervous! What if she doesn’t like me?? Because a computer personality compared to an “in person” personality are two very different things. I had planned out my day perfectly. I was going to do some cleaning in the morning then shower and blow dry my hair in the afternoon. I was going to put on some make up and smell all pretty. I was going to go across to Coburg to buy Turkish food for them because it’s my favourite food in all of Melbourne. It was going to be special!

When the day finally arrived I had a shit of a night the day before. Tim, Jaxon and I were all sick with the flu. Jaxon was up coughing and spluttering all night and Dexter of course needed a bottle or two over night. They tag teamed me ALL night. So I decided I was too tired to sit in the car to get the Turkish (given that the entire trip would be spent in agony at not being able to move my leg to stop it hurting) and got Tim to pick up a hot chicken and some nibblies on his way home. I had a nap. I set an alarm for three, since she was arriving at 4pm. I was going to get up, have a shower and do my hair. But when I woke up at three and Dexter was still asleep and Tim and Jaxon were having fun together…I slept. Until I got woken by the door bell!

There was Jeannette, at MY front door! I didn’t have Turkish food to feed her. I didn’t clean the things I wanted to clean. I probably smelt really bad and my hair was a mess. But it was still special.

We sat and talked for hours like we were old friends just catching up. Not once did we run out of things to say. Tim and George hit it off with conspiracy theory’s and James and Jaxon didn’t bother us all night! They were so good to each other and played nicely all night with very little yelling from the adults. It was a fantastic night and we were all very sad that we couldn’t have spent more time together. Tim and I wanted to go along with them for a day or night but couldn’t because of my stupid leg and back.

It’s funny. Because a year ago Jeannette did a tour of the US where she went and met almost everyone off our forum. I kept imagining that it would be intimidating to meet all of those new people when you’ve known each other for so long via the internet. Would they have certain expectations of me given what they know of me already. I would NEVER have wanted to do it because in my mind it was going to be a bunch of awkward moments. But now, having met Jeannette…I want to go and meet all of the woman from our forums!!

It’s going to take quite a few years to get there. We have 2 and a half years left to see Tim through his degree in Engineering. Then we’d probably need to sort out our finances once he got a job.  But THEN, we can start saving for the trip of a life time! The kids will be older and it will be a great experience for them. I am 100% confident that the woman I am friends with now will be very close friends for years to come. We chat every day about random bullshit. We lean on each other through rough days with the kids. We comfort each other during hard times. And we laugh, so hard. It’s a very intimate group of woman and I can’t imagine my day not including some word from someone about how they’re doing, whats happening in their lives.

I can’t wait to have photo’s like this of ALL of my girls! Perhaps, all in one spot! They’ve already had to meet ups and I’m always missing out. One day I’ll be there at Myrtle Beach!

You thought I was joking, didn’t you Poppy??

My mother in law made us a new quilt for our bed. She put a LOT of time and effort in to it and it certainly deserves a mention here on the blog.

I’ve never had a quilt and didn’t know how I’d feel about sleeping with it on. But it’s surprisingly, ok. It’s also made it so I HAVE to make the bed every day. A doona can pull off the unmade look but this quilt does not!

It also looks awesome under our ultraviolet light in the bed room…

Well, it’s very hard to believe that 6 months have gone by. Needless to say though, they have been very long months!

Dexter is almost 9 kilo’s in weight now and in Double zero clothes but growing out of them and just started eating solids like he’s always been having it. He’s now a pretty happy go lucky kind of baby and he’s always smiling and giggling at us now.

The only complaint I have right now is he’s a SCREAMER! Man, the boy has LUNGS on him!! Even Jaxon cringes when he gets right up there. It just goes on for ever some days. Its not just one scream. Its scream after scream after scream.

Jaxon LOVES his little brother and is slowly learning how to “play” with something that lays on the ground rolling from side to side all day. But it shouldn’t be too long before he’s crawling! We’ve discussed this thing called crawling with Jaxon a few times but we still don’t think he understands just how much trouble we’re in for once Dexter can FOLLOW us!

I spend all this time not posting and then I start inundating you with posts. From MONTHS ago!! There is a perfectly logical and sane reason (other than pure laziness) for this and I WILL get around to writing about some of these things…but for now I’m just looking through the photo’s I’ve taken over the past couple of months that I SHOULD be sharing here!

To make sense of this story I first have to tell you about two different stories from my childhood.

In the first, on a walk I once took with Mum and Dad when I was very little. Perhaps I was 5 years old. We were just up by my primary school at the end of our street. Walking past some pigeons. I don’t know exactly why he said it but it was probably because I begged them to get me one for my birthday. Or just because.

My Dad told me that if I wanted a pigeon all I had to do was catch one. I could keep it if I did. And to catch it he said, all I had to do was throw salt on it’s bum. This, apparently, makes it so the pigeons can’t fly or walk. Because the salt on it’s bum stings and its bum muscles squeeze in real tight and they can’t walk properly. Then all you have to do is catch it.

For YEARS I believed him. I actually thought it was true. And in grade five, I had other kids convinced of this too.

In the second story I am seven years old. I was yabbying under the bridge at the Euroa caravan park. I had thought it a good idea to leave my line with it’s steak on it over night. To see if I could catch something in the morning. That was all good and well except that when I went to check my line in the morning there was no yabby. Instead, when I pulled on the line it seemed to be stuck. So I pulled harder. And when I finally got the line to move closer to the surface, there at the end of it, holding on to that bit of steak for dear life…was a turtle.

From that point on, for the rest of our 5 week holiday, I begged Mum and Dad to get me a turtle. They DID!

I, being the original character that I am, named it Myrtle. Dad and I built it a pond with a fence around it and I would wonder on down each day to feed it.

I don’t know how long we’d had this turtle when we went to my cousin’s 7th birthday party. I don’t think it was long. But when we came home, Myrtle was gone. It ran away. It climbed it’s little fence (I vaguely remember that it COULD climb the fence) and disappeared. Never to be seen again.

And now to present day. Where I start wondering about my turtle. Thinking about the salt and the pigeons and the turtle. Wondering, if maybe my turtle died. But Mum and Dad didn’t want me to get upset so maybe they lied and said it ran away instead. Just like you hear people telling kids about their dogs who “ran away” when really Mum or Dad backed over it in the drive way. All the while, the kids are so young and trusting that they believe everything their parents tell them. Like, how you can catch a pigeon by throwing salt on it’s ass.

Yesterday I had to know. Because if I could believe Dad for years that I could catch a pigeon by throwing salt on it’s behind, then how easy would it be to believe my turtle “ran away”?

I sent both Mum and Dad a text asking if Myrtle had died and not run away. Now that they’re divorced they’d either both say the same thing, or they’d each tell a different story.

Dad replied first. He tells me the turtle really did run away. And when I said I didn’t want to be one of those gullible kids that believed their turtle had run away when it was actually dead and that I was having trouble believing him because of the pigeon story, he STILL tried to tell me you could catch a pigeon with salt…as long as you got close enough. But the turtle really did run away.

Then Mum replied. Like Dad, she swears the turtle ran away and that we never did find it.

I’m still unsure. They each have told the same story. But Tim and I discussed this and perhaps, when I was very little and lying in bed, Mum and Dad stood over me with dead turtle in hand and one said to the other “She can never know about this”

Or maybe, when they got divorced it was a part of their settlement. You can have the couch, but the girl never finds out about the turtle. Take it to the grave.

I just have this image in my head of my head stone when I die. It will probably read something like this.

Here lies Boo.

Wife. Mother. Daughter.

Gullible turtle owner to the end.

We decided to take a quick trip to Grandpa’s before Tim returns back to school. On the way we thought we were in for trouble. Jaxon kept insisting that Dookie had to come home with him. We actually thought we might have to fight Jaxon to leave him there with Grandpa. But within the first minute of our visit we knew we were safe. That was the minute of Jaxon’s blood curdling screams as he CLIMBED UP Tim’s body as Dookie very innocently came rushing out to greet them.

We had a lovely day. We had lunch. Two walks to the beach. Two walks to the park. And one of  us got to see a burning car on the drive home (that would be Tim, who, being the driver of the car…had to keep his eyes open)

Jaxon has accepted Dexter in to his home and heart as if  he has always been here. I didn’t think it was possible but the way he loves his little brother has made me love HIM even more. My brother was my best friend and I was blessed to have such a close relationship with him so I’m so thankful that so early on I can see that Jaxon is never going to let anyone or anything hurt his little brother. Just like Terry did for me.