Nikki and Dan (through Boo’s eye’s)

I say through Boo’s eye’s because there will be a “through Tim’s Eye’s” when he has the time to sort through them and tell me which one’s he wants up here. I added just one of his. Obviously, the photo of me. That look is the look of recognition…and the wheel’s turning in my head as I think “Can I reach out and stop that flash/umbrella from falling in the wind in time?” (For the record…yes I can!)

These aren’t perfect that’s for sure. But the thing about using lighting in your photography is that it’s much much harder than it looks or sounds. We have three separate instructional kind of DVD’s from the master’s in this field. We’ve watched them once or twice and they make it look so easy. They get their lights set up, turn on their camera’s. Choose their settings and BAM…great photo.

It’s one thing to read about it. See it. Watch it being done. But it’s another to do it yourself. Much like telling a chef how his meal could have been better when you’ve never even boiled an egg.

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And the same photo again in sepia, I don’t know which I like best!

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Friday Sky Watch

:) Nothing special today. This was this afternoon’s sun set. Keep an eye out for next week’s sky watch, I can’t wait to show you!

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Don’t forget to check out the other skies from around the world by clicking the button below!

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How cute is he?

Conversation with a 2.5 year old…

Helicopter flying over.

Jaxon: PLANE!!!

Mum: No Jaxon, that’s a helicopter.

Jaxon: PLAAAAAANE!

Mum: Hel-i-copter.

Jaxon: Plane!!!

Mum: It’s a HELICOPTER Jaxon, can you say Helicopter?

Jaxon: Plane!

Mum: Say Bye Bye Helicopter Jaxon…

Jaxon: Bye Bye Plane!

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Clearly, Jaxon needs glasses!

Oh the pain!

When Tim and I bought our flashes we also had to buy batteries. The cheapest way to deal with something that uses lot’s of battery power is rechargeable batteries. So we got 24 of them from an Ebay Store. We got them a few days later, great. But they wont hold their charge. We are forever having to swap them out having only got 10 or 20 flashes out of them.

So I’d like to lead you through the email process for this situation.

First I sent:

Hi

I’m sorry to let you know that I’m writing to complain. I hope we can settle this out without trouble.

I bought these batteries and they arrived the other day. We have two new charger’s, but the batteries are not holding their charge.
I’ve compared them to a 6 year old set of energizer’s and they don’t even compete. For the job that I want them to perform the energizer’s last for up to three hours and your batteries last for less than 10 minutes.
They are both being charged in the same charger.

I don’t know if you have a tip for me to try or if this is just a faulty batch, but I am extremely unhappy with this purchase and so far, would not recommend anyone buy this product.


Please let me know what you would like to do in this situation. I would prefer not to leave negative feedback, but I see it that I have not got my money’s worth if I can’t use these batteries for what they are intended for. I can’t be running back to my charger every ten minutes when my job depends on it.

That last bit, about it being a job…is a bit of a white lie. But they don’t need to know that. They only need to know that their batteries are not good enough for what I need.
They replied…very promptly.

We learn that the item doesn’t satisfied you from your last message.We apologize for any inconvenience .but please don’t worry.We will resolve the problem for you.Would you like us to replace for you or refund
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

So I replied…


Thank you for your quick response. My main concern is that we have 24 of your batteries and not one of them is charging. So my concern is that if we replace them any replacement will be the same. I think I would prefer my money back, but how does that work? I have never come across a situation like this before.

Thanks again.

They replied (this will take a bit…)

yes,if so , we would like to refund you if you like , ok ?
regards

Me….

Thank you, that would be very nice of you and I really appreciate it. What is the procedure???

Them…

if you like we would love to resend asap , there s no need to return the fault items back that cost more and take a long time to arrive here , but your positive feedback is the huge support to us
regards

Me…

No thank you. I really need these batteries and would prefer not to wait for you to resend. I will be able to buy new more reliable batteries locally. You have been really helpful, and despite these batteries not working I would like to leave you positive feed back for the service you are kindly offering. Thank you.

Then, much much later…from me.

I am a little confused and wondering what is going on now???

And the replied…like they had no idea we had indeed come to an agreement.

Feel sorry to hear that.We have indeed sent the item on time,maybe it was lost during the post .If you like,we can resend you
Hope you can kindly leave positive feedback for us.Thanks for your kind .
If you have further question,please let us know.

Hmmmmm….


Perhaps you need a kindly reminder that we already have your crappy batteries and they’re sitting here useless as they wont hold their charge and we can’t use them. I’ve discussed this with you more than a week ago and I thought we’d both agreed that you would refund our money, which is why I am confused. You have not done that. I told you that after a refund I would be happy to leave you positive feedback, since until now you have been really helpful regardless of quality of your product. But without a refund I will no doubt need to leave you negative feedback.

Please advise. Will you be giving us our money back?

Then…they replied!!!!

no need to return it back that cost you more and take long time , if you agree to leave us a positive feedback we would like to refund you asap ok ?
regards

Great, we’re getting somewhere…I think…

Yes, thank you. We would be more than happy to leave positive feed back for you and will do so when we get our refund. Will you be paying back in to paypal???

Thank you!

So now we’re getting somewhere…or are we???

ok , many ths for ur understanding , we are arranging to resend the replacement asap and advise you when we ship it out to you , hope the package arrives there shortly , any trouble pls contact us without any delay . Have a nice day

So I’ve left this…it will be interesting, since most of my messages seemed straight forward just like this one, to get a reply.

I’m sorry. I think you are misunderstanding. We want our money back. Please.

As I said, still very happy to leave positive feed back. When we get our MONEY back. Not more batteries.

Please let me know when you have deposited our money back in to our pay pal account.

Thank you.

Update: We received another set of batteries….and we got our money back! Finally, after three weeks…it’s over with!

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A friends daughter was kind enough to model for me today. We had lot’s of fun, and even got a few great shot’s in too!! Please tell me what you think, the feed back is always helpful.

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Jaxon, 2.5 years

I thought I’d use this space to document some of the cute thing’s Jaxon is doing and saying, for the family and friends that are missing out on his cuteness because we don’t live near by. As well as a good reminder many years from now when the cute things he does will only be cute to his girlfriend…and not us.

Words:

Banana = Nar

Apple = ow-al

Biscuit = beeee

Dookie = Doogin

Dookie get on your mat = Doogin go mar

Mexxi = X-eee

The Wiggles, from Yellow to Blue

Greg = Egg

Murray = Mar-eee

Geoff = Eff

And the best? Anthony = Eee-eee

Toot toot chugga chugga big red car = too too car

Night Night = nigh nigh

We taught him Bye Bye Y’all  which has now been transferred to Nigh Nigh y’all

Bike = Bi-ee (which is sometimes followed up with broom broom or Um-Um)

Duck and Dummy = Dar eh Dum-eeee

Yummy = yaaaarmeeee

Tim = Pim

Dad = Ga but he has sprung cute little Daaaaaddddddddeeeeeeeeee’s on us too.

Nanny = Nar-eeeee

Grandma = Mum-Mum

Yukky = yah-ee

And on to some stories.

A few months ago Jaxon learnt to open doors. And then he started coming to visit us in the morning. Bringing his entourage of ducks with him. Then, he only brought one duck. The duck. He would jump on the bed for a while to wake us up…and then he started waking me up by smacking me across the face with the duck. And then…he stopped waking me up all together. Yesterday morning I woke only because Tim’s electric tooth brush started. But I’m guessing that he’d been there much longer than that. I knew because the bathroom floor and Tim’s side of the bed was sprinkled (heavily) with baby powder, from one end to the other. Mexxi’s water bowl was nothing more than a white pasty mash…and the toilet bowl looked very similar. He’d drawn all over the shower screen with my eye liner pen. He tells me it’s a pig. Last week, before I woke up, Jaxon had filled the detergent dispenser in the dishwasher with dog food, while this morning…he had chocolate sprinkles for breakfast before he woke me up. Would it be wrong of me to tie bell’s to his toes?

Jaxon loves his bike. So much so that the one my Dad bought him when he was three months old died a few weeks or so ago, the “drive shaft” had worn down the plastic wheels from the inside out. He had it on the trampoline (as you do) and was doing wheelies…when the back wheel fell off. So last Saturday Tim took him shopping for a NEW bike while I got to sleep. Daddy chose out the new bike and Jaxon sat on it IN the trolley for the rest of their stay (which included milkshakes and doughnuts) Then, BAD Daddy…put the bike in the BOOT of the car and Jaxon went spastic at him. “Bi-eee…Bi-eeee” he screamed ALL the way home.

Jaxon is the most adorable thing ever. His eyes light up for the most simple things. Like Liquorice all sort’s with Dad. When Dad opens the bag…Jaxon runs at him screaming YAAAARMEEEEE!!! And the other night, when we thought Dude was hunting a mouse under the couch and lifted it for him….Jaxon saw a LOT of his toys for the first time. The puzzles that have been hidden under there, the etcha sketch. And he was all like, OMG MUM… DAD…LOOOOOK!! He yelled out at us WOOOOOOOW!!!

Bath’s are a thing of the past now. They are so last year as far as Jaxon is concerned. Now when we ask if he wants a bath he says “shar” and walks to our bedroom door taking his clothes off as he goes. When I take his nappy off and he’s done a big poo he says “OH WOW!” and when we’re picking up Dookie poo in the back yard he follows us around pointing them out…saying “yuh-eee”

There was a time when I was worried I would never feel this way about having a child. But now, I am over the moon happy that I have Jaxon in my life. He is the best thing, next to his Daddy…to ever have happened to me.

Rabbit Proof Fence

No. This isn’t a movie review. I haven’t even seen that movie, though I’ve heard it’s good.

This is a post to show you just how SLOW I can be.

When I was about 8 a new family moved in just down the road from me. They’d just moved from Queensland, where I am currently living…and have been for coming on five years now.

They had five kids and I became the best of friends with one of the middle kids, Michelle Finter. She was very quirky and clever and she LOVED rabbits.

Almost as soon as they moved in they had rabbits in the back yard. Lot’s of rabbits. And the numbers kept growing. The entire family was obsessed with the rabbits and I just could not understand it.

So, moving on. I now live in Queensland. And there is apparently (not apparently, there IS. I say apparently because it’s in bad repair and it doesn’t work so well anymore) a rabbit fence all the way around the state to keep rabbits out. AND!!! Rabbits are illegal to keep here.

I don’t miss rabbits, but I was thinking about Michelle and her rabbit fetish this morning and all of a sudden it clicked as to why they loved their rabbits! I don’t blame myself for not knowing the reason so many years ago. But really, it took me five years of knowing about this rabbit ban to put two and two together! Come on Boo, get with the program!

Leslie Dam Photo Shoot

Jaxon wasn’t much of a willing subject unfortunately so Tim and I had to model for each other. Which is a pain in the ass when we both want to be taking photo’s. But anyway. Here they are.

Anyone that would like to see where we’re learning our lighting from can go to strobist.com for tips! This is our first on location shoot. So far we’ve only done inside shots and inside/outside shots are very different. So I’ve put in a few of the practice shots. And keep in mind this is not the end result. We’re still learning. But very happy with how we’re going.

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Towards the end of the night we really started getting what we wanted from the camera/lighting situation. But we ran out of natural light and had to stop. We’re going back tomorrow night!! I’m going to bore you with our off camera flash journey!

Friday Sky Watch

It’s been a couple weeks.

But here you go.

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This was about an hour ago. Driving towards Cunningham’s Gap, or Brisbane.

Don’t forget to check out the other skies from around the world by clicking the button below.

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Scavenger Hunt Completed!

Please don’t forget, if you like our photo’s…and our creativity…

please go to Nicole B’s site and vote for us!!

1) a souvenir

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Made in China, of course!

2) a fish

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I know, it’s only meant to be A fish. But I didn’t know how many can’s of tuna would actually MAKE one fish.

3) a religious building

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4) a fire department

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5) a manhole cover

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This is the only one we could find!

6) a postcard

dsc_0009A post card sent to me by my on line friend Jeannette, from South Africa. Unfortunately, no stamp!

7) water

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Can you see the drops splashing back up as they fall in to the water? This was taken at the over flowing weir since we had quite a bit of rain two weeks ago. It’s the first time it’s flowed for about two years so it made us all very happy. The river flooded too.

8 ) a communication device

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9) a Life event

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10) a foreign stamp

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11) a tree

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12) the living space of a non-human

dsc_0190It took me forever to find this birds nest. I was out looking for some ant hill’s…but it was raining and I could see anything on the road. I pulled over and when it stopped raining BAM there it was!

13) a street mirror

dsc_0276The ONLY street mirror in town. It took us a LONG time to find it. That’s me, looking sexy as ever in the reflection!

14) a decoration fixed on a house

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15) a foreign flag

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16) a fire

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I wasn’t game to start a fire just to get a photo. This will have to do!

17) an antenna

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18) a phone booth

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19) a “verboten” sign

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20) a beach

dsc_0016I saw this dolphin playing in the surf at the local beach just yesterday!!

21) a cityscape

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This was in Brisbane from the top floor of the car park at the Royal Children’s Hospital. We’re three hours from the city, I wasn’t making the trip just for one photo!

22) something goofy

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23) something carved

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24) an eye

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My mother’s childhood doll. Hmm. Let’s see. Mum’s in her 50′s. And she’s had the doll since she was 5 or so. That makes her about 51 years old. I “inherited” her when I got married.

25) something rural

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To Post or not to Post

I haven’t really had the motivation to write lately. But that’s a good thing, because it means my head is in a good place. I write the most when I am having issues, and not having had issues for the past few months has been really nice. I might attribute this to my weight loss. Because it feels wonderful to be setting goals for myself and actually reaching them. I’m not sure how long it’s been since I set a goal, and achieved it. Perhaps, it was long before my brother died. Which is a bit sad.

Really, all I want to do sometimes is post pictures. But I know myself that “reading” blogs that don’t have much to READ, can be a bit boring. So I try to avoid doing it. Maybe I shouldn’t.

We’ve taken the next step in our photography journey. We’ve bought ourselves some off camera flashes and the gear that come’s with them and we’re just starting to practice with light. Here are the first photo’s we’ve taken using them.

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There will be more of our off camera flash photo’s in my scavenger hunt post, which will be posted tomorrow. But for now, Jaxon has a bad cough and a bit of a temperature and is willingly letting me cuddle and smother him with kisses so I will be off, and taking full advantage of his sooky mood!

Ha Ha

Originally, when I first went to get the camera, it was because Jaxon was rolling around rapped up in that blanket and Dookie was jumping all over him trying to lick him. I thought Jaxon might just pop from all the laughing.

But as is the norm with kids and animals, all action stopped the moment I moved. I still  managed to get something funny though.

If you listen closely as I start to crack up, Jaxon has said “UhOh”

Real Man in the making!

Maybe Jaxon will be old enough when he finally gets to reading this far back, that his friends wont get to see it!!

What you don’t see (with my editing skills) is the camera shaking uncontrollably with my laughter, and Daddy in the back yard yelling “Training him early?”

A hard days night!

Jaxon has his first day care induced cold. He has snot running out of him faster than I can keep up. He woke up, unable to breath, at 6am.

Today we had a doctors appointment. Which unfortunately we had to wait one hour and fourty five minutes for. That put him at least 2 hours past lunch AND nap time.

We got home and I went to the toilet and when I returned this is what I found.

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So, so sweet! I was very proud of him today. He waited very patiently for our appointment and made everyone in the waiting room go “awwwwww”

Looky here what I found!

I was on top of my favorite mountain (which is really just a very big hill) trying to 1) get sunset photo’s and 2) train Dookie a little. I had no idea that about 30 kangaroo’s live up there!

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I also had no idea that Dookie was terrified of riding in cars. Him vomiting all over the back seat when I took him for his last shots might have given it away, except you know…he’d had his first shots. He ended up moping about in Jaxon’s car seat and screaming while I drove home.

Week sevenish

So I am feeling fantastic.

Yesterday I tried on a shirt that my in laws bought me to stop getting burnt back in January. It was a size too small, a tight fit. I didn’t wear it again once they left but finally, the other day thought I’d bite the bullet.

It looks great, and makes me feel great. And it fit’s perfectly!

So once I got that “Wow” feeling I decided that it might be time for a before and after photo. My father in law was most gracious in sending me some terrible terrible before photo’s for me. And Tim was more than willing to take my after shot for me.

I don’t know if it’s the camera adding ten pounds and blah blah blah. But despite the fact that I feel great and FEEL like I look slightly slimmer…those “after photo’s” look terrible. Just as bad, or not much different to the before photo’s.

I’ve come to realise that I wont feel comfortable in my own skin until I am 100% happy being photographed. This was of course one of my main reason’s for wanting to slim down. If you’re working towards being a photographer, and your husband is doing the same then chances are you’re eventually gonna have to suck it up and model yourself for the greater good.

So no photo’s. yet. And eventually you’ll get to see the photo’s that Tim took today. When, I am a LOT slimmer than I am now!

Week…something or other.

It’s not that I’ve lost count. I am in week seven now. I just don’t know if I count from the first weigh in of 100.6kg’s of if I count from the second weigh in, or the first weigh in where actual weight was lost. At any rate. I got something to say!

It’s no secret at all that Tim and I are trying for another baby. It took a long time to get pregnant with Jaxon and no doubt (certainly feels like it) it’s going to take a while with this one too. Though I am not so stressed about it right now. Each month I am not pregnant (and I should say cycle, meaning 6-7 weeks) is another 6-7 weeks where I can lose more weight. And therefore, making it easier to GET pregnant.

So I asked my team leader last night what happens when I do finally get pregnant. I was some what surprised to hear that Weight Watcher’s does not support pregnant woman and I would have to stop.There is NO way what so ever, that I could continue. Even under a doctors certificate.

Now I understand that woman shouldn’t be trying to lose weight while they’re pregnant and that’s fair enough. But if there was any time when I needed to not blow my weight out, it would be exactly that time.

I’ve lost 7.4 kilo’s. (100.6/98.9/97.7/96.3/95.5/94.4/93.2) in seven weeks. It’s not been hard as I had expected it to be but it is a long road. A road which despite my hard effort and fantastic results, I am still at the very beginning of. I am 93.2 kilo’s and my healthy weight range is between 60 and 65 kilo’s. As I say, a long road.

I’ve known woman who have put on 30 kilo’s during pregnancy. I’ve known woman who have put on 20 kilo’s while pregnant. It just doesn’t make sense to me NOT to have woman monitored week by week to make sure that they don’t over do the “eating for two” philosophy.

I suffered from Gestational Diabetes when I was pregnant with Jaxon. I know now, that if I get pregnant eating the way I am eating now, I might be lucky enough not to get it again. But I don’t know how I will do that when my on line tools for great recipes and healthy eating tips are gone. When I don’t have a weekly weigh in to let me know where I am at.

I’m not saying I don’t want to put on weight. But I am thinking, that I don’t want to lose 20 kilo’s in order to GET pregnant only to have them turn their back on me and then put on that 20 kilo’s again. Only to have to start the long road ahead of me AGAIN when I have had my baby.

It might just be me. But that doesn’t make sense to me. What would be so wrong with giving a pregnant woman 35 points for healthy “eating for two”, rather than the 18 to 22 I am having daily for weight loss??

Friday Sky Watch

By popular demand (ie: my MIL)

This isn’t much of a sky watch. but you CAN see the sky in the first photo!!

This was taken yesterday from our back yard. A Kookaburra stalking it’s unfortunate prey…a grasshopper!

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Clicky Clicky!!

Sunday Sunset

I was getting a little worried about the fate of my Sunday Sunset’s, seeing that the season’s are changing. But I think we’ll be right going in to winter. I can’t wait to show you Spring sunsets!

Tonight’s sunset deserved much more than just one photo. The sky was just full of colour and texture!! It was a pleasure to watch it going through the motions.

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Click on image to see larger view.

Attention to detail

Conversation between Tim and I the other night.

Tim: Hey, when did you put that up?

Me: Um, well. Let me see…when was that. Oh right. Two days after we moved in.

Tim: Oh. I knew that.

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This is what he was referring to. Our friend Kelly from New York bought this for Jaxon’s first Christmas. And I put it up on the wall when we moved in here. The problem is, that it’s not like I put it up in a spare room, or in the bathroom or toilet that Tim doesn’t use.

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That there is a photo of where it is in the house. That’s Jaxon’s open door. And the door to the right of it is where we have his change table set up. To the left of Jaxon’s door is the bathroom and toilet.

We put Jaxon to bed together every single night. We bath him together every single night. And he didn’t notice!

Sky Watch Friday

I know sun glare isn’t ideal in the opinion of many photographers. But I happen to really like it.

This is yesterdays sky. It was a lovely day!

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Don’t forget to check out the other amazing skies from around the world on the following link! Don’t miss out!

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A boy and his dog!

Tim and I thought long and hard for weeks about whether or not we should go ahead and get Dookie.

Even once we got Dookie I was wondering if we’d done the wrong thing. Jaxon doesn’t exactly LIKE dogs. Not one’s that are bigger than Mexxi at any rate. And we all know that a full grown rat would out weigh Mexxi so that’s not exactly hard.

So for the first two weeks Jaxon completely ignored Dookie. Like he didn’t exist. If Dookie was around Jaxon would literally look the other way. If Dookie tried to catch his eye, he would walk the other way. It was quite funny to watch.

Then for the next two weeks, Dookie wanted nothing more than for Jaxon to be his friend. Still, Jaxon snobbed him on most occasions.

But now. Things are getting better. As long as Dookie does not lick Jaxon’s finger’s, lick Jaxon’s ears, lick Jaxon’s toes, lick Jaxon’s nose, take Jaxon’s Duck, take Jaxon’s dummy or sit too close to Jaxon while watching Deal or No Deal, everything is hunky dory.

Here’s proof!

Where Jaxon goes, Dookie follows…or is it where Dookie goes, Jaxon follows???

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And this last photo is just for good measure. I don’t know what to make of that look!

Scavenger Hunt

A little while ago I ran across a blog that runs scavenger hunts on a regular basis. I decided that this time I would take part and hope that you’ll all go across to NicoleB’s blog and get involved too!

Here’s the list of thing’s I’ll be hunting down. But remember to take part you must go to the site and reply to the thread with “I take part”

1) a souvenir

2) a fish

3) a religious building

4) a fire department

5) a manhole cover

6) a postcard

7) water

8) a communication device

9) a Life event

10) a foreign stamp

11) a tree

12) the living space of a non-human

13) a street mirror

14) a decoration fixed on a house

15) a foreign flag

16) a fire

17) an antenna

18) a phone booth

19) a “verboten” sign

20) a beach

21) a cityscape

22) something goofy

23) something carved

24) an eye

25) something rural

The hunt ends and judging starts on the 31st of May 2009 so you have PLENTY of time to find your items!

Look forward to seeing everyone’s entries!

No Photoshop

I will admit that occasionally we use photoshop to enhance our photo’s. But sometime’s they just don’t need it.

MB asked if my last Sky Watch photo had been touched up and the answer is no.

Here is the first line of photo’s I took that night. Unedited. With their camera setting’s to show you how the camera can change the way something is percieved. Those settings may mean nothing to you, and to be honest half the time they mean nothing to me. We’re still in the trial and error stage of using the settings.

You can see there is only about 10 seconds between photo’s. But that the setting’s changed on the camera change the picture dramatically.

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The photo above is likely to be the closest to representing what I was actually seeing.

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So there you go. Sometimes yes, but this time, NO.

Jaxon, Master Chef!

I think I’ve mentioned a few times that Jaxon can now open all of the doors in the house all by himself.  Well this is what happens when Mummy is sleeping and Jaxon is not (of course by that I mean that he woke up from his nap and didn’t wake me from mine!)

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Last night, he fed Dude a FULL box of cat food!! Dude wont be catchin any mice for us for a while.

Week Four

I thought I’d be able to keep writing stuff here about my weight loss. I thought that somehow if some unsuspecting person who might be a little unhappy with their weight and had never thought they COULD change it for themselves might somehow get some hope and motivation from me.

Because I was that person.

But it’s getting hard to come up with something to say. I am of course still very happy about the effort I have made. And even happier that I actually feel like I am getting somewhere and nothing is going to stop me.

I’ve even slowed down, or almost stopped, trying to get pregnant. Because I wonder what it would be like to have a BABY BELLY rather than just have my fat change it’s shape. It’s really not that I’ve stopped. Or that I don’t want to be pregnant (and let’s face it. I don’t WANT to be pregnant, I want a baby…and those are two very different things!) But right now I feel like if it takes a little bit longer to GET pregnant then that’s more time for me to lose more weight before I have to stop counting points.

The food is just mind blowing. I’m a fussy fussy eater. I flat out don’t like veggies. I don’t like different. I have trouble with textures and smell’s and if either of those is just a little bit strange in my mouth or nose, I will not even try the tiniest little bit of that food.

But I’ve found plenty of recipes that suit my needs and still stay low in points. Stuff that is yummier than anything we ever really had before. Even just variations on the meals that we used to eat regularly. Like Shepherds Pie, lower in points but just as nice.

Tonight I had a chicken and potato casserole served with green beans and pea’s. And oh. My. God. It melted in my mouth! It was so good!

The other night I made a Mediterranean Beef and Vegetable Bake. It had three things in it that 5 weeks ago I would never have tried or had. It had a layer of sliced tomato’s followed by a layer of zucchini covered in a ricotta cheese sauce. The flavours were like nothing I have ever had. And I ate it all up!!

So this week I lost 800 grams. A lot less than I have in previous weeks. But I got warned that this would happen. That I would have some really good weeks and some really bad or not so good weeks. So it’s ok. And I think I can attribute this all to two extra FULL can’s of coke and a home made pizza on Saturday night with one of Tim’s oldest friends visiting. Even remaining within my limit of points, I still think that the change made the difference.

So all up I have lost 5.1 kilo’s. That’s 11 pound something. I don’t know the conversions. That’s also 5% of my body weight and I am THRILLED to have got just this far! My next goal is 90 kilo’s. Or 10%. I hope to get there in a month. Five more kilo’s.

Sunday Sunset

Here’s one I am incredibly proud of. I “scouted” this “shoot” on the way to Jaxon’s school…on school holidays. When I got there I was the first one there. My internal dialogue “Yay…I’m the first one here….um, where is everyone??” Duh! So Jaxon got very very upset with me when we didn’t stop the car and didn’t walk in and was crying a bit. We first drove a bit around town looking for a good location for these photo’s and then went to the park.

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I’ve been quite a few times to this spot this week. This was my first night. Over the weeks I will show you more. And perhaps show you the progression through 5.20pm to 5.45pm when the sun sets.

Broken

I will always remember visiting my best friends house as a young girl. Not only because we had a LOT of fun, but because something there is similar to my own situation now.

Her mother’s brother died. And there was a photo of him on the wall. An outdated photo, with faded edges and dust on the frame. I never thought much about that photo. Though I saw it each and every time I visited, I never asked or knew his name or how he died. I didn’t think about her Mum and what that really meant.

Now, twenty years later, I have a photo on the wall. It is outdated. Taken with a FILM camera in Bali.

It hangs nicely on my kitchen wall and I look at it each and every day.

But now I know that when Jaxon brings his friends over to stay or play, they will see that photo and behind my back Jaxon will tell them it’s his mother’s brother. And Terry will be like a no one to them. A picture on the wall.

People don’t even ask any more. They just look at it and think nothing of a photo of someone they have never met on our wall. And if they do ask, then I say “that’s my brother Terry”.  Like maybe he’s on holidays. Maybe he just lives overseas. Or maybe we just don’t talk anymore.

Like that would ever have happened.

Eleven years ago, I would have broken to pieces having to say he’d died.

I remember the day he died like it was just the other day. When nothing seemed to be real. When driving home from my camping place the thought of putting myself in front of a truck was appealing. And gliding through the rest of the day like my entire body was just on auto pilot.

My best friend came right over. And she sat with me while I cried and cried on my bed. While extended family sat in the kitchen consoling my Dad. I remember how much I loved her that day. For without her, I would have otherwise been alone. She let me rest my heavy head on her knee and cry. And she held my hair back off my face and she wiped my tears away and she cried with me. When the tears had dried out and I could no longer keep my eyes open, I drifted. And she sat with me quietly while I stared off in to nothingness.

I remember the days where I would go to work and have to be driven home within an hour because being alone with my animal’s and just my thoughts would rip out my insides. I couldn’t stand up, let alone work. I couldn’t even talk. I couldn’t find the right words that would properly describe having your world yanked out from under you at 120 kilometer’s an hour in a 60 zone.

All gone in a matter of minutes.

I will never get my dreams back. I will never get the future I had in my head. The future that had him firmly planted in every plan I ever made for myself. The children. The BBQ’s. The parties. The birthdays. He was there in every thing. Intertwined throughout my life, growing with each other. Until we were old and grey, and had to stand by the grave as we buried our parents together.

But instead, I stood by his grave. With my parents by my sides. Watching as his young body was planted firmly in the ground. Forever. His laugh nothing but an echo in my head.

Terry will never meet my husband. The love of my life. He will never know his nephew. He will never know what it feels like to grow old, or to watch as the life you create takes it’s first breath. He will never do any of the things I had planned for him in my head.

Tim will never get to meet my brother. One of the most influential people in my life. One of the people that made me exactly who I am. He will never know what Terry was like. What he sounded like. I can’t talk about him enough. What I have to say about him doesn’t even begin to give you an idea of the life that Terry had. The way he changed the mood of the room just by being there. Only Terry could tell you you were a fucking idiot to your face and not hurt your feelings.

Jaxon will never have a cousin with my maiden name. Because my maiden name died when Terry died.

That hurts. All the time.

No words can express it. You don’t know it until it happens to you and you will never understand me. You will never understand the emptiness that is created the day someone so close to you dies. The void that is created. That photo on the wall means everything to me.

It’s not just a photo. It’s my life. It’s my lost dreams. It’s my broken heart. Deep down inside me, no matter how strong I seem and how little I seem to need to talk about him and remember him to you, there will always be a large hole. A large broken piece that can never ever be repaired. Or replaced.

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Every day I cry on the inside for the life that I lost when Terry lost his.

Week Three

I’m running out of things to call these weight loss journey posts. So I’ll just have to settle for week by week.

I was thinking today about the way I used to eat. Right now I am living on a 18-22 point plan on Weight Watchers.

Of course it varied, but over the weeks it was all pretty much the same. An average week would have at least two of these kind of days in it.

For breakfast four weeks ago I would have had rice bubbles with Jaxon. Maybe two bowls while he munched away at his. That there was 7 points. Not including the heaped sugar I would put on it. Let’s just say ten points even.

For lunch I would eat Macaroni and cheese, again…with Jaxon. He would eat one pack and I would eat two. That’s TWELVE points.

And then for dinner I would have two meat pies. With tomato sauce. Each pie is 8 points.

And then let’s talk about the coke! A can of coke is 2.5 points. And I was drinking four or five cans a DAY! Ten points in coke.

That’s forty-eight points!!! I always thought that I ate reasonably well but my portion size was way off. But now I know, I’ve been wrong all along. I was eating like a teenager!

Now I feel different. Already my bra doesn’t fit me and I’m down to one top that looks reasonably good on me. For the first time in a very long time (though my Mum will dispute that I never liked shopping even as a little girl) I am actually looking forward to the next clothes I buy for myself.

This week I’ve lost 1.4 kilo’s. That’s a total of 4.3 kilo’s in four weeks. I’ve lost 5% body weight. I am so incredibly proud of myself. I find myself looking forward to the future now. Looking forward to what I am becoming. Looking forward to looking my best AND feeling my best.

Wii Boxing

I know this looks pretty boring. But to our family and friends, it’s GREAT to see Jaxon using his right arm this way. Go Jaxon!!

Surprised

So today marks my two week mark with weight watchers.

I have never tried to lose weight. I never even dreamed that I COULD lose weight. I don’t know if I had an attitude about Weight Watcher’s but I always thought it just wasn’t for me. Before the very day that I decided to join, I had never once considered any kind of weight loss program.

I had a few friends who were doing it. I would hear their stories and hear them talking about points and would just think to myself…why bother? It’s too much hard work and I’m such a fussy eater. It would never work for me.

Now, two weeks in? It’s totally for me. I’m doing really well. I’ve not gone over my points allowance once since I started. What’s more is, I have points left over on most days. But I am totally satisfied with the better choices I have been making.

We haven’t bought coke in two weeks. Everyone who knows me will know what a MASSIVE thing this is. We would normally buy one, some times two slabs of coke per week. And though Tim tried his hardest to keep up with me, it was me drinking the majority. I would sometimes have 4 or 5 cans a DAY!! Now?? I barely have three mouthful’s. I haven’t given it up. But I have certainly cut down. I have see the light, and now make my choice each day if I am going to have any.

I’m totally surprised with it all. At my meeting last week some of the woman and men discussed how hard they found it to stay away from the things that they enjoy. I really don’t know why but for me it hasn’t been a problem at all. Perhaps because I’ve been this way for so long and finally reached that point where I can’t just do nothing. Perhaps it is easier when you’re desperate for that change??

At any rate, I am so proud of myself. Each day I feel better and better about the effort I make. Today, the day I had been waiting for. Waiting for someone I know to say “Wow, have you lost weight?” Why yes! I have! Not just one friend but TWO friends noticed.

Such a change to the “Are you pregnant?” questions.

Continue reading

You should see this…really.

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I really don’t think one hour is enough. There are almost 9000 hours in a year.  I’m sure I’m not alone. I hope one day, we progress past just one.

Sky Watch Friday

Don’t forget to check out the other amazing sky’s from around the world at Sky Watch Friday!!

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NEVER

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EAT

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SEA

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WEED

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And though this photo looks like my lens may have been dirty, it was in fact driving through “weed”. It was an amazing sun shower.

And in other news

…my Mummy’s going to kill me…but my Daddy understands :)

Meet, Dookie

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Dookie is a 6 week old Staffy. He’s proof that being generous with your old baby stuff to friends who are going to breed their dog one day, pays off.

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Moving forward

I was going to start a new blog. Just for this. But then I figured…hey, why not put it here.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I NEED change. And to get that change I am doing something I have never once done in my life.

I have joined Weight Watchers. Specifically, you may have guessed…to lose weight.

I don’t know exactly what made this moment THE moment. I don’t know where that switch is. The one that finally made me go “yup, I’m doing it”

Up until this week it had never ever occurred to me that I could lose weight. I would complain and complain about it but I never stood up and did anything about it.

I think I was scared. It’s far easier to not try and not get anywhere, than it is to try and be seen trying…and gulp, fail.

For a very very long time I pretended to myself that if people didn’t like me for who I was then more fool them. I’m happy, why should I care what they think of me? But then one day, too long ago to remember exactly when that was, I woke up and I wasn’t happy with who I was. And yet I still did nothing.

I think my eye opening moment came when I realized that I was wearing the same clothes I had been wearing while I was pregnant. That was THREE years ago. But that wasn’t even it. The thought of actually going shopping to get new clothes, made me incredibly unhappy and unstable. It was not uncommon for me to come undone while looking through the clothes racks. I would literally cry.

I didn’t want to shop for clothes because I didn’t want to think of myself as a fat chick. I didn’t want to walk in to the store and find the clothes I liked to image myself in were 10 sizes too small and that my clothes, over in that out of the way corner of the store…were the big girl clothes.

So I didn’t shop. I haven’t bought new clothes, or worn new clothes…for a very long time. I include bra’s, undies, socks in that too. Because shopping made me miserable. It made me look at myself and see exactly what I was. I didn’t like it. So I didn’t go shopping.

So you know you’re in trouble when you wake up one day and you disgust yourself. Just the thought of leaving the house and being seen in public wearing the same ratty looking clothes you were wearing when you met everyone you know, is hard. Embarrassing.

You know you’re in trouble when you wouldn’t even go clothes shopping if someone offered to spend thousands of dollars just on you.

You know you’re in trouble when you can’t even lie to yourself anymore. When the words “I am happy with who I am” wont roll past your lips without causing you to feel nauseous.

I guess thats the moment. The moment when I thought I have two choices. I can either continue on the way I have been living and eating and watch my weight slowly but surely rise. Or I can physically force myself to make the change. And go the other way.

I’ve chosen to change. Because I am not happy and I just know there is more out there than the way I am living.  I want to do this for me. And I want to do this for Tim. I want to do this for everyone that cares for me. But most importantly and above all other things in this life that matter to me, I want to do this for Jaxon.

I want to run with him and jump with him. I want to roll down hill’s with him, climb tree’s with him and I want to enjoy his childhood with him. I want him to see me enjoying life. I want to be in photo’s with him. Photo’s that I am not ashamed to put here or in the family album.

So this is my first week. And I feel good about the change. But I will say there will be no progress photo’s. Of course, at the very end when I can tell myself I am happy and know that I am no longer lying to myself…I will have a before and after shot for you to see.

I’m going to share this journey with you.

Because a week ago I didn’t think I could do it.

A week ago I didn’t think I was worth it.

Today, and every day after this…is a new day. And I will at least try. I owe myself that.

Continue reading

Following on…

Mouse number 8!!

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As you can see, he didn’t stand a chance!

Tim and I went to Bunnings (hardware store) today to get some mouse traps. Apparently the town is in the “grip of a mouse plague”

Now my Grandma, Jaxon’s great grandma…lived through a mouse plague and I image it was a LOT worse than this. You’ve probably all seen that video footage of million’s of mice just moving in one big lump across the ground? That’s what I image Grandma saw. That’s why, I image, she didn’t like to hear about my mouse breeding tales.

There wasn’t a single trap there, having all been sold in the last week. Only poison. And we can’t use poison with dogs and cats and kids in the house.

Tonight we’ll lay our own trap. A bowl of liquid malt. I’ve told Tim that I’m certain we’ll have caught our first mouse before we go to bed.

Dude, for now…is safe as can be living here.

All Bell’s are off!

Something weird happened here on Saturday night. Something that has never ever happened before.

Since moving to Queensland nearly 5 years ago, I don’t think either Tim nor I have ever seen a mouse.

But while visiting friends for a BBQ, we saw our first one. They stomped it and fed it to the dog and we thought nothing more of it.

Until, while I was changing Jaxon for bed, I heard “Um, Boo” from Tim in Jaxon’s room.

And there, sitting on one of his spare ducks…was a mouse. It just sat and stared at him like it was totally normal for it to be sitting there ready to go to bed.

Since Dude is ALWAYS here for bed time I picked him up…pointed out the mouse and within 30 seconds Dude had it in his jaws and was taking it outside to play.

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Once again, feeling safe in the knowledge that we had only ever seen two mice in Queensland…we thought nothing of it.

Until the next night. When, while I was reading in the silence of the night…I heard noises. Coming from our walk in wardrobe. Scratchy noises. Noises that once upon I time I was very familiar with (breeding mice does that to you)

So I got up, took Dude’s bell’s off and let him loose in the house for the first time since we moved here. Dude never gets to be out at night. He is always locked away where he can’t annoy us by climbing windows to get out, meowing to get back in or…sleeping on the bed. He is after all, a very large and bulky kind of cat.

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Some background to this part of the story is that since moving from our old place to this place, Dude has been walking on very thin ice. I love having a cat. But Dude was pushing button’s and doing things that I was not willing to live with for overly long.

The first thing we noticed was that if he was inside he wanted to be outside. So we would let him out and then he would do this little about face thing and want to be inside. But he wouldn’t just meow, he would climb the doors and windows. Sometimes he would ask to be out at the front door, would walk around the house and then climb the back door to be let back in.

He had once been a very tranquil cat. And Jaxon’s friend. But when we moved here (and perhaps that we lost Oscar) he started attacking. He would strike without warning as you walked past him. And he would get you good. On Christmas Eve he jumped up from behind the couch and scratched Jaxon so close to his eye that he nearly didn’t get to see the night through.

But I persisted. Thinking that there must be a reason for the mood swings. We got him to the vet and cleared up a urinary tract infection and we installed a cat door for him to get away from Jaxon if he needed. This seems to have done the trick, though he still nibbles my toes occasionally.

But, back to the story. I just wanted to tell you how close to being shafted Dude was!

So the next morning we all woke up. Same old same old. Except for the blood bath all over the kitchen floor. Clearly Dude had caught his fair share of mice for the night.

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Good Dude!

It continues still. There was two mice that Dude was teasing last night. They had climbed up the brick wall and were trapped so Dude just sat there. Biding his time. And he got them.

Then this morning, Tim found yet another mouse in our spare room, once again sitting there like nothing was out of place. But once I set Dude on him he didn’t stand a chance.

I don’t know what’s going on. This afternoon when Jaxon and I went out for a drive, a mouse jumped out from under our car and dashed as fast as he could back to the garage. And then when we got back Dude once again saved the day by catching and killing a mouse out near the BBQ.

I’ve never really been happy about cat’s without bell’s on. And Dude sure does sneak up on you when you can’t hear him coming. But until this mouse thing passes, Dude will have free range of the house at night, and no more bell’s!

Dude rocks!

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Give me a minute!

As you can see there are some pretty drastic changes around here at the moment.

I don’t like them. I like my old theme but when I tried to re-insert my photo album something else went wrong and it’s all a bit beyond my knowledge.

So just give me a few days to sort this crap out.

Hopefully I will like the new look as much as I like the old look.