When Jaxon was just a couple of weeks old we had a visit from my IL’s. They suggested and strongly urged me to find a hobby. Something to get me out of the house, something to do. They suggested many many different things for me to try, all of them very good idea’s. But I didn’t want to do it.

I didn’t want to leave Jaxon. I was scared that something would happen and I wouldn’t be there to do anything about it. I was scared he would cry and Tim wouldn’t be able to stop it. I was scared that he would do something new and I would miss it. What if he yawned and it was super duper cute and I missed it?

Recently I found something that I want to try. It starts tonight and I will be gone from the house for ONE and a HALF HOURS! Tim will be completely in control of looking after Jaxon. It will be the longest time I have ever been gone for. I wont be hiding in the bedroom where I am easily accessible when somethings not going right. I wont be back in 20 minutes from a short trip to the shop for dinner supplies. I will be completely, 100% gone.

So here’s a list of things that I secretly (don’t) want to happen…

• I don’t want Jaxon to refuse his bottle BUT cry if you take it away from him.
• I would hate for Jaxon to spill cold coffee down his front just after a bath
• I don’t want Jaxon’s bum to explode, and if this should happen I do hope his nappy is big enough to hold it all in
• I would hate it if while Tim was changing that poo, Jaxon reached down and smeared it all over himself.
• I think it would be terrible if while Tim tried to stop Jaxon from putting that poo covered hand in his mouth, he accidentally got poo all over his own hands.
• I would hate for Jaxon to refuse three different meal choices one after the other, and not be happy with any of them.
• I would hate it if Tim had to say the words “no” or “don’t touch” or “You can’t have that” or “not for babies” to Jaxon, and it would certainly break my heart if Jaxon were to melt to the floor in fits of screams and tears because his world was coming to an end.

I’m not trying to say that Tim doesn’t deal with those things on a regular basis, you all know Tim is the best husband and father ever. But I am comfortable enough to say that previously he has dealt with them all knowing that I am there to back him up. That if he can’t figure it out, I’m there to take over.

I’d also like to add that while I am gone I also wouldn’t want any of the following to happen…

• It would break my heart to have Jaxon say two words in a row. Or even one word, but a really clear word. I’d hate for him to say “homogenisation” or “excavation” so clearly that there is no doubt about what it was he said.
• I would hate to be gone while Jaxon perfected the art of spinning on the spot.
• I would not want to miss him mastering the use of a spoon, or drinking from a cup without spilling it.
• I would hate to miss a rare moment when Jaxon will sit still and almost cuddle for 2 whole minutes

Haaaaaa. Now that I have that off my chest I feel much better. I really do hope the night goes smoothly for all of us…because if it doesn’t then I might not get to go out again until Jaxon is twenty one!!