Hello everyone! This is Irishembi from over at “Because I Said So.” Boo is off having fun moving to a new house (if you define “fun” as packing up and moving yourself, a husband, a toddler, a dog and two cats and all the accoutrements that go with those things) and has asked me to be a “guest blogger.”

If you read my blog regularly you’ll know I’ve been suffering from constipation of the brain recently so luckily Boo has handily provided me with a list of questions to answer; graciously providing me with something to write about. I’m not sure if she intended me to answer all of the questions in one post, but since I tend to be long-winded (as evidenced by the fact that I’ve already written two paragraphs without even stating the topic question yet), I decided to take them one at a time.

Boo says: “I was going to ask you what number of children you thought was a good deal. One two or three?”

Well the “good mom” answer would be “three” seeing as I currently happen to have three. But my answer to that question is different at any given time of the day (at 6:00 a.m. it’s ZERO. Zero children is a good deal.) or any different time of my life. As a little girl I remember telling my best friend I only ever wanted two or four children as I didn’t ever want to make someone the “middle child.” I guess Jamie will just have to deal.

There was truly never a time that I thought I didn’t want children at all. There were times that I thought I wouldn’t have children either because, well, that whole male + female thing is kinda important, and there were definitely very, uh, dry periods in my life. And then with both of my marriages there were stages when I thought having children was just not a wise idea. Obviously that stage was permanent with the first marriage.

I jokingly tell people that when I had my first baby I knew I only wanted one child, and then after having my second I knew I wanted more. This is only half tongue in cheek. Sabrina was a difficult baby. I had to be cajoled and convinced to take a pregnancy test the second time, disbelieving all the while it could be positive. My first response on seeing that second line? “Oh crap.” The only reason it was worded so mildly was because Sabrina was in the room.

After having Jamie I had the “perfect family.” One boy, one girl. And yet. I still had this longing. It was almost as though there was another soul out there telling me, “wait for me, I’m not ready yet.”

And sure enough when I got pregnant shortly after Jamie’s first birthday, I had a much more positive response to the news. But that little soul still wasn’t ready for me, and she (I’ll never know for sure, but have always been convinced it was a girl) slipped away at 6 weeks.

I’ve now had my third child, a gorgeous little girl again, bringing my tally of children to three. I don’t have that feeling of someone waiting anymore, but there is still a certain wistfulness of maybe another…..

And then someone keeps me up all night and I remember how much I like to sleep and that I’d really like to get back to it someday.