That’s not normally the kind of word that people use to describe me. I promise. Really.

But the other night, that’s exactly what quite a few people would have been calling me.

Let me set the scene for you. Friday night. It’s late. It’s dark. It’s raining.

Insert one Ten Pin Bowling Alley. With disco lights and loud music.

Add four fully grown adults.

And bumper’s.

The game was going really well. But it got boring so we decided to make it a little more challenging.

The Challenge? Hit the bumper’s four times before you hit the pins.

It sounds pretty simple but in all honesty it’s not. Getting three bumps before you hit the pins was hard enough.

After a few failed attempts, it was finally my turn.

Being that I couldn’t just be a normal person I decided to bowl my ball from lane twelve. We were in lane thirteen.

I threw my ball with all of my might. It went rocketing down the lane at full speed ahead. Nothing was going to stop it.

It hit the bumper head on. Instead of a light or even moderately hard tap that slid along it more than hit it.

SNAP!

TWANG!

BANG!

Tinkle… as the springs from the bumper burst from their safe house and flew all over the lane.

Dying of embarrassment, and laughing our collective asses off (me nearly peeing my pants on the floor) one of us finally had to volunteer to go and tell the people behind the desk. Even though they’d been watching the whole time.

Two minutes later the fifteen year old manager comes over to me. I’m sure he’s going to tell me that I now owe the center $2000 to replace the bumper. But no. He tells me in his most “adult sounding” tone, that “that’s what happens when you extreme bumper bowl” 

I’d like to think that in years to come, for all of eternity (or at least the next two weeks) people throughout my district will be telling whacky tales about a wild and free spirited teenager (hooligan,thug, delinquent, idiot) who broke the bumper’s at the bowling alley.

Above: I’d like to say this was my own photo but it’s just a google one. I did take my camera, but our batteries are dying and though they were newly charged, were too dead to take photo’s