6^th June

Dear Diary,

We’re moving back to Melbourne. No one knows about this, so this won’t be posted right up until we’re there.

Well, my Dad knows. Because he’s probably going to drive up to us and then drive back down to Melbourne with us. This is good. I’m looking forward to it.

Tim and I have been here in Warwick now for coming on five years. The day we decided to move way back then was like any other day. Tim was working in North Melbourne. We lived about a half hour drive from there in moderate traffic. But this night there’d been a major accident on the free way. Two people died and everyone was stuck in traffic going both ways for hours and hours.

When Tim finally got home, five hours after he should have been home, exhausted from work and annoyed about traffic the first thing he said was “Call your Mum, let’s move to Queensland”

There wasn’t even a second thought. We had doubts of course. But from that moment on we knew that we were going. We didn’t care what it took, we were getting out of the city. You could say that we moved specifically for the traffic. But that really was just the breaking point. There were so many other reasons for us to move away. Most of them I can’t put here. But they were good, I promise.

From that day, to the day we left Melbourne…was 21 days. There hadn’t been a conversation beforehand…we hadn’t thought about it once before that heavy traffic day. We sold almost everything we owned and went. We’re like that. We make up our minds, and we go.

We moved up here and we lived next door to my Mum for a while. Then we moved in to town. And then we had Jaxon. But two years ago Mum got a job in Darwin and left. So we found ourselves left in a small country town, with no family.

We have a few really good friends here. We love them very much. It’s taken us this entire time to make those friends. Despite being open and quirky people…we’re really guarded and take a long time to open up and make friends. But there’s nothing like family.

Everyone visits. Nanny and Poppy visit at least twice a year and so do Grandpa and Grandma. While they’re here, my heart breaks. Jaxon loves them SO much. When they’re here we see him blossom. We see his eyes light up when they come through the door. He yell’s and screams in excitement and it’s just such a joy to see. It’s always a very sad few days for Jaxon when they leave. He really misses them.

This is mostly what made us decide to go back home. Tim’s Mum turns 60 next year and I suggested a week or two ago that we try to rock up on her birthday as a surprise. They do that to us all the time and I would just love to do it to them, especially for Nanny’s birthday. But the plan was only to go for a visit.

Then last Thursday, Nanny had to have an operation on her hand. It sounds really simple but she’s had problems with anaesthetic and her heart has stopped once or twice before on the operating table.

It was an awful day. We worried and worried. I kept thinking…what if? What if Jaxon doesn’t get to see his Nanny again? What if he grows up and all he knows is those few short visits where he got to have a Nanny hug and kiss and shower him with love?

I grew up in a very close knit family. Our extended family wasn’t so close, but my family unit…my Mum and Dad and my brother Terry, we were really close. I want that for Jaxon. I’m giving that to Jaxon. But more than what Tim and I can give him, I want an extended family for him too. I am sick of missing birthdays, and BBQ’s and Christmas Days.

While we waited for the call that said Nanny was ok, I lay in bed thinking. And when Tim came home the first thing I said to him was “Instead of visiting for your Mum’s Birthday, let’s move back to Melbourne”

And so it will be. We are going home. There has been no second thought. There was no discussion, no compromise. It is time for us to return to the place where we feel we belong now. Where once we needed to move away from the city and everything else that we were moving away from, we now move back for something much more important.

Family.