I came across a wonderful blog, written by a woman who also happens to live in Australia. Who also happens to have a young son and who also happens to live with depression.

I was incredibly impressed with her writings. Not because she’s out of this world good. But because she tells the truth.

There’s this saying I’m sure you’re well familiar with.

Laugh and the world Laughs with you.

Cry, and you cry alone.

I’ve always hated that saying. But the sad thing is…it’s true.

I can’t help but go back to a time when my life was so bad that I no longer wanted to live it. A time when I was cutting my own flesh because the pain of a physical wound was far easier to deal with than the shit that was going through my head. I remember that I lost a lot of friends during that time. And I also remember, that after my second attempt at suicide, those same friends would say to me “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The truth?

I had been telling them.

And they didn’t want to hear it.

Because I wasn’t laughing.

Well recently, I’ve felt the need to only put the good stuff up here. Because I don’t want to bring people down. And the truth is, not everything about our lives right now is good.

We HAVE suffered a huge blow. We went from moving closer to family and getting a better paid job…to a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis and loss of said job. We’ve gone from having a few very good friends, to having barely anyone to talk to. We’ve gone from floating just enough to be able to do things with a little spare money, to having no money at all.

And it has been HARD.

I’m a highly emotional and passionate person. And that passion and emotion very often comes out in my writing. Writing it down stops me from wandering down a path of self destruction and hurting the people in my life that I love and that love me.

So from now on I just have to write it as it is. I’m not saying that we’re looking down the barrel of a doom and gloom blog from now on. But at times, I need to write to get it out. And the place that I choose to put it is here.

This blog is and always has been about our lives through my eyes. Good or bad. Not putting it all here is cheating myself. Only putting up happy snaps because I have nothing good to report, is a big lie.