I’m feeling very small at the moment.

I’m thinking about Terry a lot. Not so much about how he died. More about what it means to the world that he died. And then how that makes me feel in the “big scheme” of things.

One hundred and something years ago, my great great Grandfather and Grandmother met. They lived and loved. Had kids. Grand kids. And then, they died. They were important people. People loved them. Cared about them and missed them when they were gone.

And I don’t even know their names.

One hundred and something years from now. I’ll be a nobody. Just like Terry is fading in to the past because the only thing that keeps him and his memories alive is my memories of him. Me sharing what I knew of him, and his life, with you. And I don’t do that enough for my own liking. I feel like he was so long ago. So much has happened since him.

But how crazy is that? Everything seems so important to me right now. Terry. Mum and Dad. My past. Tim. Jaxon. My future. What I make of my life. And then one day, when the last person who ever knew me or ever heard a story about good ol Boo dies…it’s just gone. Nothing is left.

One day I’ll just be a name on a family tree.

I’m so small.