There are days when you don’t even think about it. There are days when it doesn’t hurt. But then there are days like today when the pain wont go away and when you can’t stop thinking about it.
On those days the tears come hard and fast. An invisible rope wraps itself around your neck and keeps you from breathing.
Your heart sinks because this wont change.
The worst thing about it is, that the ONE person you want to hold and tell them you love them, isn’t here. And never ever will be again. It hurts to breath, and it hurts to be the one that got left behind.
This is one of those days.
Today I wish with every single particle of life in my body that my brother was still alive.
I want my phone to ring and for Terry to say “I’m out the front, come for a drive?” like he used to.
I wish that he could hear his nephew’s laugh as he play’s hide and go seek with his Daddy. Or see the sparkle in his eye when he discover’s he can stand all by himself.
But none of this will ever happen, or happen again. There is nothing more painful in this world than losing a loved one. Nothing more painful than having your dreams torn from your heart forever.
(Photo: Terry and I with my first dog Bitsy. I’m scanning more photo’s, because I want to share his memory with you)
I’m sorry Boo. There’s really nothing else I can say but I’m sorry for your sorrow and I am here if it helps.
Ahhhh MB you’re such a good friend! Thank you. I’m ok. As I said it was just one of those days.
boo- i hope the rest of your weekend was better. i have days like that. where you can only think about the past and what ifs. i love the photos of you and terry. what happy siblings. you are so lucky to have such a great brother!
Just want to say I know what you mean, the rope gets tight around you neck and you feel your heart hurting and breathing seems to take every ounce of effort you have….And the one person who can stop it, can make you feel better isnt there.
Know that he is with you, talk to him and even though you cant hear him talk back doesnt mean he cant hear you.
He is with you on every big occasion and even with you when you wish he wasnt lol. Trust me he is there, just a little out of reach.