I remember a very specific time in my life when  I would go and visit Mum at work after school. I was probably about ten years old. She worked in a child care center, which meant that more often than not, she worked with girls fresh out of school.

There was this one girl there named Michelle and I thought she was the bee’s knee’s. She was pretty and smart and skinny and I admired her so much. I wanted to be just like her.

I remember at that age I just couldn’t wait to grow up. I couldn’t wait to be like Michelle, who at the time was probably in her early twenties.

But everyone would tell me that I should savour this time in my life. That I shouldn’t rush to grow up and it wasn’t as much fun as it looked. They all told me about the time in their life when they wished that they were grown up and how much they wish they were my age again.

When I was about 18 I also had the same feeling’s about my brother’s girlfriend Maree. I wanted to be just like her. She was professional and smart and witty. She was lot’s of fun to be around and I just wanted to grow up so bad so that I could be as cool as her.

And here I am, either ten or twenty years on from that, still wondering what it’s going to be like when I grow up.

I’ve graduated from school, I’ve completed a few college diploma’s. I drive a car! I’ve had sex, done drugs and been on all night drinking binges more times than I can count. I don’t have a curfew. I’ve been married now coming on six years and I have a two year old son. We live out of home, we pay our own bill’s and we make all of our own choices.

Shouldn’t I feel grown up by now? I’ve been out of home for ten years now. Shouldn’t I feel different? Shouldn’t the world look better somehow?? When does one go from being whatever it is they are to being grown up??