Oh.Em.Gee!
Dexters kindy teacher is pregnant and today sat the class of 24 kids down to tell them she now knows she’s having a boy.
Class discussion.
Dexters contribution: Yeah but if the baby wants to be a girl, my Mum says thats ok. As long as they’re happy. The boy can just cut his penis off if he wants to be a girl.
Ahhhhh!
The other night at bed time Dexter made friends with a blow fly. He named it Bill.
This morning, walking from our room to his he made a rather large leap.
“Don’t stand on Bill Mum”
Bill is dead in our door way.
All parents have those ‘things I thought I’d never say’ moments.
I just had a ‘things I didn’t think I’d hear from my six year old’ moment as Dexter told me…”Time is money Mum”
Rule number 2 last week was ‘When you’re finished with toys you put them away’
This afternoon I had a snooze while Tim and the boys watched a movie. Only Dexter wasn’t interested in the movie so he pottered around in our bedroom.
I just walked in to our walk in robe and found…a set of minecraft books, a beach shovel, a nurf gun and a transformer.
While Tim and I sat on the bed I called Dexter up and said ‘I don’t remember Dad sitting in the cupboard reading minecraft books while having a nurf gun war with a transformer and digging a hole to China. Do you?’
Dexter looked at me dead pan and said ‘You sure missed a lot while you slept’
Dexter got to see some wild animals at kinder today. He has declared that he wants a sugar glider as a pet.
I agree.
They are soooo cute!
So. I make an awesome car out of cardboard boxes for Dexter, 5, to play in. After half an hour he tells me it’s not quite good enough. Why? Because it doesn’t have a secret basement.
#mumfail
Things you never thought you’d hear your perpetual whinger whinge about at 12.34am.
‘Mum, Dougie drank all of my toilet water’
Our budgie Woody died today. He’s been unwell for 2 weeks. I’ve been trying so hard to keep him warm, and make him eat and drink but alas, he’s gone.
I told Dexter a few hours ago. Showed him. He just walked off. Seeming not to care.
Then…
Dexter : I’m sad our bird died.
Mum: I know. We’ll have a funeral for him tonight so we can say goodbye.
Dexter: Then we can use him as a puppet, yeah Mum?
Um. Hmmmm.
Just as grains of sand through the hourglass…
Dexter: Mum, purple man always smiles like this. (Insert cheesy grin)
Jaxon: No he doesn’t.
Dexter: Yes he does.
Jaxon: No he doesn’t.
Dexter: Yes. He. Does!
Jaxon: No. He. Doesn’t.
Dexter: YES. HE. DOES!!! Muuuum, teeellll Jaxooon that purple man alllways smiles like THIS! (Insert cheesy grin here)
…so are the days of our lives
Dexter likes scrambled eggs. I make point of this because Jaxon, doesn’t like ANYTHING. Dexter will try anything and if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. Jaxon on the other hand can simply hear the name of something, or look at something and swear “he doesn’t like it”
I don’t know where he could have got this particular trait from. But MY parents might have something to say about it 
At any rate, Dexter LIKES scrambled eggs. So the other day we were having them for lunch and he was on the bench watching me crack eggs. He asked if he could do it and I don’t care what Julie Goodwin says, cooking with kids and making a mess is NOT FUN. So I told him “when you’re older”
Then he looked over at Dougie’s pill’s. Another thing he wants to do (give Dougie his daily pill) that I’m not so willing to let him do just yet.
He said to me straight faced “When I am older you will let me give Dougie his medicine right?” Yes, of course. Then he throws out that “when I am older I will be able to cook. But right now I’m a terrible cook”
Today was the most horrible day in terms of weather. So when Dexter and I got to school to pick Jaxon up we waited in the car as long as possible to go in to the yard. It was blowing a gale and raining.
We sat there conversing. Dexter is curious about being born and asked if he was in my tummy, did he kick his way out?
I said no, the Doctor had to cut me (showed him where) and take him out and then the Doctor had to sew me back up.
He asked if it hurt and I answered, it hurt me, but not you.
Then he looked over at me and said “That’s really gross Mum”
Dexter: Mum, I just ate a snail. I need to go rest…
Dexter is talking up a storm and I really should be recording it as it happens so I don’t forget! This is from memory…so not so much.
1.
While I went in to the shops leaving Daddy and Dex in the car, they had a conversation about Dragons. When I got back Dexter told me “I want to be a faggot.” Um, what?? “I want to be a faggon.” Daddy?? He wants to be a dragon!
2.
Dexter: Burp
Daddy: What do you say?
Dexter: Iron Man.
Daddy: Dexter, what do you say?
Dexter: Pardon me Iron Man.
3.
Dexter ‘meowed’ at me then licked my forehead. Um….
4.
Dougie has chewed the bottoms off of both of Woody’s feet (Toy Story)
Dexter just came to us and showed us, saying “Look, no snake in his boots”
5.
Me, draping our fitted sheet over two chairs under the heater vent to dry.
Dexter says ‘Why you making cubby house?’ And I reply ‘Its not really a cubby house. Our sheets need to dry’
Dexter replies ‘Well, its a perfect cubby house too’ and hops under.
He’s been busy moving all of his bedding and toys into his cubby house for half an hour. I expect he’ll want to sleep there.
I will TRY to put them up as they happen!
Peppa Pig. Bloody Peppa Pig. I am sick and tired of Peppa Pig! Three weeks running now and nothing different we’ve tried has influenced Dexter enough to stop wanting to watch Peppa Pig, TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY!
We nearly got a bite with Toy Story. He sat for almost all of the second movie. We even had a day with him walking around with Woody and another with Buzz. But our two day break from Peppa, did not last long.
If you’ve not watched Peppa Pig then you might not know that Peppa Pig has a baby brother George. And the most you ever hear George say is “Dinosaur, Rarrrrr”
Dexter has come a long way since grandma’s visit. I swear, it was like having Mary Poppin’s sweeping through to sort his grumpy stubborn and screaming little ass out.
Dexter has been a nightmare for us to cope with for months. He’s been refusing to talk or communicate in any other way than screaming for a long time.
If he was hungry while I was trying to cook he would be hugging on to my leg screaming about the terrible pain and suffering he’s going through.
If he dropped something he would stand and cry about it instead of doing the normal thing and just picking it up. If you run in to the wall on your bike don’t scream at it to move. Reverse your bike and go a different way!
Tim and I were at our witt’s end when Mum got here. We’d tried everything everyone had suggested. We’d looked up and followed advice from the google people by searching “Why is my 2 year old always screaming at me?”
Desperate times, desperate measures. Have major surgery, Mary Poppin’s to the rescue!
Mum swooped in and whipped him in to shape. She basically taught me how to deal with almost every thing that he’s doing. And possibly given him a new annoying trick!? What’s with the powder on the hand thing?
Tim and I now seem to be figuring Dexter out more and he’s laughing more than screaming.
I can not thank my Mum enough for what she has done. This is the third time she’s dropped everything in her own life without being asked and sacrificed her own needs to come and look after my family because we desperately need the help at short notice.
I don’t think there’s anything I could say or do to express our gratitude enough.
Dexter does this to Dougie…a LOT!!
Dougie take’s it like a champ!
Every day Dexter and I drop Jaxon off at school and then return home to do some cleaning. I guess I can’t complain that I get no help around here hey??
Jaxon and Dexter sharing a moment.
Moment over, lunch is done!
Though this is a terrible photo of me, it shows Dexter in Jaxon’s Gorilla slippers that Grandma brought him.
He did ask me to put them on.
Not so happy to walk in them though.
It seems a bit unfair for Jaxon to have his very own category and Dexter has to miss out. Since Dexter doesn’t say much yet, I thought I could tell his story in photo’s for now.
This is what happens when Mummy looks away and Dexter has run out of food.
How Dexter decided he could help me clean the fish tank.
And how Dexter spent half an hour entertaining himself the other night. I took plenty of video’s hoping for him to bump in to a wall in an attempt to win Funniest Home Video’s. He let me down.
