Maybe you need glasses??
Maybe you need glasses??
Here’s a clue…
My loyal fan may have noticed recently that I stopped posting on the 5th of April. At the same time, I also deactivated my facebook account and turned my phone off.
Why?? Well, amoung other reasons, I lost my wedding ring. And this upset me a lot.
I first noticed it missing in the shower. So logic would have me think I lost it down the drain. I spent the last two weeks standing in the shower and getting all depressed about my SECOND wedding ring going missing.
Well…I found it. So here’s a photo of where I found it.
Let’s call my ring Wally for a moment…
So today Jaxon was out in the sandpit. He came over to me where I was doing some plant potting with his little digger.
He made the digger pick itself up with it’s bucket (or whatever technical term you’d use for the bit that picks up the dirt)
This is the conversation that followed.
Jaxon: Can real diggers do that?
Mum: Yeah, I suppose so.
Jaxon: Can we go and ask a worker to do it for me?
Mum: No Jaxon, I suspect it’s very dangerous.
Jaxon: It’s ok. He just has to make sure his boss doesn’t see.
WTF!? Where does he get this stuff from??
Then the other night he asked me if he could meet the Easter Bunny when he comes to visit. I told him probably not since the Easter Bunny is a very shy creature. He told me it was ok, he would cuddle him and it would be ok!!
Jaxon and I spent a lot of time making his Easter hat for the Easter Hat Parade put on by the prep classes at his school today. When I say “and I” I really just me…the AND I bit. Every step of the way I would say “Jaxon come and we’ll do this that or the other for your hat” and Jaxon would inevitably get bored after two minutes of doing it and leave me to it. He did glue most of the aluminum foil on to the hat and he did put a layer of gold gliter paint on it and he did glue three chickens on it. But he had nothing to do with the paper mache bit, or the construction. That was apparently below his interest levels!
I was so proud of him. The parade was AWESOME!! All of the kids came with the different hats and they all looked so pretty.
Jaxon got up and made a little speech about his hat and how HE MADE IT. I’m ever so proud of him! That’s going to have to wait for the next post though!
Dexter cheering on from the side linesThe little girl to Jaxon’s right is Em, his on again off again (five minute rotation) best friend. We meet in the morning and we hang back and play in the afternoons. There is a lot of “Em’s not my friend/Jaxon wont play with me” at the moment
It was labor day weekend this past weekend so Jaxon had the day off, though Tim didn’t. The boys and I went to the park and it turns out…Dexter LOVES the slide.
After the first few goes with Jaxon he started to climb 4 inches up the slide and then “slide” down yelling “ahhhhh weeeee”
To build Jaxon’s confidence up we found him a Karate class to go to on Thursday night. This was his first visit and he HATED IT!
He stayed for half an hour and participated but then he got a little overwhelmed by all of the running and screaming and he wanted to stop. We let him stop, but we made him stay for the entire class. Hoping that he would eventually join back in.
That didn’t happen. He sat with one or the other of us and kept saying “I want to go home. Are we going home now. But when are we going home? Is it five minutes yet? Oh it’s taking so long” I was ready to strangle him by the end of that half hour!!
So here is where I say…I’m SORRY MUM for…the ballet classes that I quit because the room was too cold. The piano lessons I quit because I couldn’t get my head around there being more than one set of scales and how will I know which ones to push. I’m sorry about the Judo classes I didn’t want to attend because the instructors nails were too long and dug in to my arms all the time. I’m sorry for the flute lessons that I stopped playing after 4 months. After you brought me an $800 flute. I’m sorry for everything and anything I ever started and wouldn’t finish and I’m sorry, because I probably bitched about it all the time too.
The funny thing is, we hadn’t even left the car park before he said to us “I miss Karate” Come hell or high water…he’s going next week!
I’d just like to correct my error from my last post. It would appear that Nanny and Poppy have been married for 39 years. Not 36 as previously stated.
I’d also like to clarify, for the record…that when I was writing that post I wondered in to Tim and asked “Have your parents been married 36 or 37 years?” and Tim’s response was “Something like that”
Tim’s currently reading the Lord of The Rings series for the first time, though he has seen all of the movies.
Tonight he tell’s me that the more he get’s in to the books the less he remember’s from the movies. I proceed to tell him that all I really remember from the second movie is the ending where they walk over the hill top and look down in to Sodor.
You didn’t see it did you? Or did you immediately recognize that Sodor is the Island that Thomas The Tank Engine lives on?? Tim’s says “I think you mean Mordor Dear”
What?? I think it would sound awesome if Gandolf turned around and said “Buff my Buffers – YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!”
Tell me you can’t see the similarities?
Yes, I need a life.
And look who else had a blast showing us around Jaxon’s classroom??
The billabong type water hole at the bottom of a hill within the caravan park. I made the mistake of taking Dexter down in his pram and then had to lug him all the way up again!
Dexter having an afternoon nap in the shade. At the time I thought, beauty…I can go have a nap! Tim and Dad where fixing the tail lights on the caravan with Jaxon and Anne was snoozing too so I had the perfect chance to do it. But when push came to shove and I lay in the tent where I could no longer see him all I could think of was…what if someone walks past and nicks Dexter while no one is watching? Once I got that thought in my head nap time opportunity for me was gone!
Tim put the Hammock up while I wasn’t watching. While I didn’t have the camera out. Which is a huge shame becuase from what I hear, Australia’s Funniest Home Video’s may have got a new video from us!
The reference to a soap on a rope came when Jaxon asked Daddy what they were sitting on. Daddy didn’t tell him so I suggested that it might be a tea bag or a soap on a rope. Jaxon went with soap on a rope for a few minutes before we told him what it’s really called. Though I didn’t dare get in, all of the boys had their fair share of fun sitting and swinging in it together or alone.
Dexter spent a good 3-5 hours of his weekend checking out the features of Jaxon’s bike. And still, he didn’t find the bell, which we conveniently didn’t mention in all that time. He was totally mesmerized by Jaxon’s bike! Here might be a good time to mention that Dexter spent the first day of our camping trip in a one piece suit doing what he wanted and going where he wanted. We were right next to the park’s kiddy park and he went there. He came back to us looking for things to do. By the end of the first day his blue suit and white socks were black….but he had a ball with all of his freedom!
See…climbing in to Dad’s caravan!
Cooking dinner under the ever watchful eye of Dad
I’m ALWAYS taking photo’s of Tim and the kids together and then reminding him that he has to do the same too. Otherwise we have this blog and photo albums, that *I* spend all of *MY* time lovingly writing posts to so that one day the boys will have a life to look back over…and *I’m* not even in it! It will be as if Tim’s a single Dad who does a heap of stuff with his kids…and I’m the mother who was never around to do anything with them!
So towards the end of most of our family trips I have to say “Take photo’s of MEE with the boys!” even if there had been hundreds of opportunities to do so. Well, this one time he takes photo’s of me without me asking and says he’s taken heaps. But guess what…they all look the same. All THREE of them. Except the wind has blown my hair over my face in one and Dookie is looking guilty for some reason in the other. Get your game on Tim!!!
Camping cooking doesn’t always have to be simple! This is the roast I did on Saturday night. It was to die for!!
A really nice photo of Dad with Dexter. He was tickling him and Dexter was squealing in delight!
Dookie all grown up, three years old. It was kind of funny. We went to this particular caravan park because it allowed dogs on leads. On your way in it also says that helmets must be worn at all times. So we arrive…and the caravan park ranger owns two dogs, who are not on leads. Within a few hours of having Dookie all tied up I asked him if we could let him off too. He was pretty laid back this guy, and said yes of course. So the rule about dogs on leads is a crock of shit. Then, he happens to have a four year old son who very quickly made friends with Jaxon. He brought down his bike so they could ride together…with no helmet!? We didn’t mind him hanging about too much, since he was taking Jaxon away to play while we struggled with our tent pegs. But when they decided to swap bikes and Neil took Jaxon’s helmet as well as his bike…allowing Jaxon to fall of Neil’s bike without one…I was pretty pissed and sent him packing! So the story goes like this. At 5.30 in the morning I heard Jaxon moving about his tent. I asked him what was wrong and he said he needed to go to the toilet. So off we trot to the toilet blocks. I tried to take his pants down and turn him about to do a wee…only to find that he’s actually done a big wet runny poo for me to clean up. So I cleaned that all up and off to bed we go again.
At 7,30 he woke up once again telling me that he’d done it again. At this point I’m wondering if there is soemthing wrong, or if he’d eaten something that didn’t agree with him. I can’t say he’s ever had diarrhea!?Â I get him up, pack a bag of clothes and take him over to the toilet blocks to have a bath this time. While we were getting ready to go Dexter woke up…so Tim had to be woken up too.
Well. They had a ball! It was raining at the time and Tim said Dexter just lay on my pillow looking up at the tent’s roof listening to the rain…and then fell asleep. For another three hours!! We almost got all packed up before he woke up!
So all in all, our trip was a major success. We loved that we were so close to the kids park, so we could see Jaxon and keep an eye on him. We loved that we were so close to the toilet blocks…for reasons which probably no longer need to be explained. And we loved that we were only a 40-50 minute drive from home and felt so secluded and out of town. The park was in a valley surrounded by tree’s that rose above the hill’s. The weather was great bar the one hour of rain on our last day and the park was full of kids for ours to play with. I am super excited that Tim enjoyed himself…and that we’re now going to slowly set ourselves up to go camping with out the need to have Dad there to use his kitchen!
Tim doesn’t make it much of a secret that he’s not one for the out doors or camping. I’ve tried three times in the last ten years to introduce him to the joy that it has brought me over the years with absolutely no success.
The first time we went to the Murray River with my Dad and a few of his friends. It was, without a word of a lie, 42 degree’s over night with not a breath of wind. We barely got any sleep all night and then, bright and early at 6am…the canoe race that stops…well, stops us from sleeping…started. So just as we hit that perfect spot between nothing and dreams, all we heard was cheering from people across the river “Come on 86!” “Go 34!!”
Then, in the heat of the day Dad’s friends kids and grand kids went in to the river. Where, evebn as a non parental type…I was disgusted by their language!! These kids, not more than 10 years old were swearing with such disrespect at their parents and anyone with in ear shot had to hear it. Unfortunately, that meant us. We left, even though we were meant to stay for two more nights. I didn’t have to listen to that and it didn’t seem the weather would cool any more either. Complete failure!
The second time we went camping wasn’t so bad as this. We went to Goomburra Forest up in QLD. I believe I posted about it long ago. Everything was going perfectly. The tent went up well. The afternoon was spent taking photo’s and swimming in the creek. But come night time and time for Jaxon to sleep in a bed other than his own?? Absolute disaster!! He cried and cried and screamed and kicked and did everything BUT sleep until 4am in the morning. Then, woke up right on time at 6am! Tim and I were exhausted and he vowed never to give me another chance to show him how bloody good camping was going to be.
But this past weekend, we did go away again. And we DID have fun! In fact, I’d go so far as to say, Tim enjoyed himself more than I did!
Aside from the first two hours of our stay, everything went smoothly. The kids slept well in the tent. Dinner’s, lunches and breakfast went well. Even sleeping for us was comfortable and relaxing.
The first two hours, on the other hand…were kind of annoying. The ground where we went was soft on top, but had a layer of rock about 4 inches under ground. So not just one or two tent pegs hit rocks, or tree stumps and could easily be moved to avoid hitting them again. No matter where you were or what angle you put that tent peg in at it was going to hit the rock. And it was going to bend! Two tents, that should normally take each of us half an hour to put up by ourselves…took TWO HOURS! Two hours of lot’s of swearing and frustration!
But, once that was done very little went wrong. I mean, we had to pump up our air matress by hand because my very old electric air pump died…and Jaxon had diarrhea twice over night and threw up his breakfast on the second morning but still…WE HAD A GREAT TIME!!
As I said, other than that…we had a ball. Over the next few days I’ll share some more photo’s and a video…but for now..this is the most important thing you need to see…
…my boys, having the time of their lives…swinging in the soap on a rope!
I’ve been a bit lazy about this! Jaxon starts school in two days and it’s all about closing doors and opening windows in this house. Even Dexter will be starting a half day of child care on Friday…this Mamma is not liking letting go of all her babies all at once!
Jaxon: Mum, are we going out for dinner tomorrow night?
Jaxon: Are we going out for dinner the day after tomorrow night?
Jaxon: Are we going out for dinner the day after the day after tomorrow night??
In the car, passing a new McDonalds that two days previously hadn’t even been half built.
Dad: See, I told you. Shocked me when I saw it too.
Jaxon: Yeah…it shocked my head off too when I saw it. It shocked my whole body off!
And then, randomness from the boy at dinner tonight. I have no idea where this came from, or why it came to be either!
Jaxon: Mum, we have to make a great big meatball…and paint it blue.
Mum: Um, o-k…
Our landlords promised to frost over the open window at the front of our house so that people wouldn’t be able to see through at night time. It’s one of many lies they’ve told us to get us in to this house.
To rectify this problem…I paint!
It looks awesome at night time from the outside!
29th November 2011 – 10th December 2011
Grandma took Jaxon to see the Werribee Open Planes Zoo. This is about the only photo she took with the camera. Apparently…it was too hard to push the button so she took her photo’s with her phone. I don’t have those pictures
Dexter loves his Grandma!And finally, Tim and I learned that Grandma’s are excellent for flogging off the things you can’t be shagged doing to. Christmas tree’s are so annoying to put up!
Thank you Grandma for your visit. We look forward to seeing you again soon!
I’ve got some catching up to do…so forgive me if these posts are a little out dated
I am yet to post pictures from our day in the park for Jaxon’s end of year Kinder party. But I will.
Jaxon informed us on the way home from the park, where Santa had rocked up on a Harley and given all the kids lolly pops and hugs, that Santa was “a fake” (his words!)
We’re trying desperately to tell him and have him believe that Santa hires all of those “fake” Santa’s because he can’t be everywhere at once but it’s not going over with him.
I’m sad to think that the magic he finds in Santa may soon be lost. I want to keep it for another year!
If I add these birds to the two mobiles I made with them, I think I may have made over 250 paper cranes!
I never want to see another bird again!
Have I told you how much Dexter can eat?
The boy can eat! And he’s so messy! We had no idea how lucky we got it with Jaxon not wanting to get his finger’s dirty in his food! Dexter on the other hand, if it’s within arms reach…it’s going in the mouth!
The other day I caught him wondering about the house with a soapy bit of steel wool in his mouth! When I took that off him, I also found the Rinse Aid for the dish washer hidden away behind him. That’s when we decided to baby proof the kitchen properly I’ve taken flies out of his mouth, three day old biscuit thats been hiding under the table. ANYTHING!
Well, this is what he did to his cake for his Birthday BBQ. He was totally unstoppable. If we hadn’t taken the cake off him I’m pretty sure he would have eaten until his belly exploded.
He actually tried to eat the NUMBER ONE candle!
Dexter is such a light sleeper that I dare not do this very often.
This is becoming quite the daily tradition. Dexter wakes up and Jaxon goes in to play with him. This morning though, Jaxon was “teaching” Dexter how to high five and pronouncing “We’re partners Mum”
I’m so proud of Jaxon as a big brother. I have no doubt in my mind that he will forever look after (and perhaps UP) to his little brother for the rest of his life.
Jaxon to Daddy: I counted up to 67 today Daddy. You should be able to do that soon too.
Like all little boys, Jaxon and Tim ( ) LOVE fire engines. So when the local CFS held an open day over the weekend we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take him along.
Chick Magnet!!Jaxon took this last photo. I think it’s framed very well for a four year old who has had to figure out how to press the button with a hand/arm that barely reaches it!
I understand that it must be lot’s of fun for you to be hacking my site to impress your zit faced friends. But please stop. I do not have the time NOR the ability to be chasing my tail around trying to figure out what the fuck you have done to my documents!
Excuses for not being able to go to bed are getting elaborate.
Jaxon: I can’t go to bed because my finger nails are too long…
As I said earlier, I’ve been working on a few projects lately. This is the crane mobile I made for Jaxon’s kinder teacher. There is still one more bird to add but it will need to be made in the morning because Jaxon is going to colour it in and it will go right in the middle at the bottom.
There is about 4 hours of bird folding there. Three hours to make the hoops and three hours to hook up and thread the birds to fishing line.
Now to figure out how to package it so she doesn’t have to spend three hours untangling the birds!!
At the moment I feel like I have TOO MANY projects going all at once. Most of them, I can’t do while the kids are awake.
I started this project a few weeks ago. I’m going to make hundreds (well, at least 50!) origami paper cranes to hang from the ceiling that joins all of our bedrooms together.
I started these but then scrapped them, because I was trying to make perfect squares out of A4 paper. Which, is actually very difficult. When the squares are off even just a tiny bit…the birds come out messy and I’m anal retentive so that’s just not good enough.
I’ve got some new squares, cut for the purpose and have started again. Only this time I’m making a mobile out of them for Jaxon’s kinder teacher who is sadly leaving for a new job next Friday. So the ceiling birds will have to wait.
Before I decided to scrap these birds I wouldn’t let Jaxon touch them. All he does is break them and then I have to make more. I don’t know if you’ve ever made an origami crane but they’re time consuming. And though I’ve been making them since I was 9, I don’t want to have to keep replacing the one’s I let him play with.
When I decided to get the right paper to do the job the one’s I had already made became Jaxon’s to play with.
I didn’t tell him to colour code them. He did that all by himself. When he’s naughty Nanny and Poppy joke that it’s MY side of the family in him (“That’s the (insert Surname here) in him”)
I’d have to say that a more accurate statement is that when he does things like this…that is MY side in him coming out. Tim will tell you it’s anal. I will tell you it’s just well organized!!
The window in the back ground is my handy work too. When we first moved in the land lord/real estate agent told us they would have the window glazed over “in a few weeks” so no one could see through. As per many other broken promises from them, it’s been months now and still it hasn’t been done. So I painted my design on there with acrylic paints which can be scrapped off and redone as I please. I actually like it that way. I’m thinking about changing it again soon. I get bored easily
When Rory died we had decided that we would call our budgie breeder lady (begrudgingly, because boy can she talk your ear off!) and put our name down to receive a pure yellow or pure white budgie the next time she got one. But it turns out that with her male breeder, she only get’s white and yellow females. We need a male. They’re nicer and less bitey. So that wont do.
She told me that she had a bird just out of the nest ready to go now. He was white, with some black on his face and wings and blue under his wings. He sounded great, so I went and got him on Friday.
I picked him up and had him in his little cardboard box when I picked Jaxon up from kinder. I had him sitting on the bench as I told Jaxon I had a surprise and got him to help me set up a new cage. All the while he keeps asking me “What IS my surprise?” and it never clicked to him that it was probably another bird.
I asked Jaxon to go outside and get Rory’s little yellow birdy ladder that somehow became a trampoline toy for his mini Buzz to climb. While he was out I quickly took the new bird out and put him in the cage and WISH I had thought to have the camera ready to capture his look when he realized his surprise was a new bird.
Anyway, this is BUZZ LIGHTWINGS. He’s far younger than Rory was (8 weeks) when we got him. Buzz is only 4 weeks old. I wanted to take him early (he’s still capable of feeding and drinking for himself) so that he would not form relationships within his huge avery and so that he might be easier to hand tame. Rory was already a bit nasty about my hand when we got him home so I never tried to tame him, instead just trying to teach him to talk and whistle.
But Buzz has been here now for a few days and has willingly hopped on my hand a few times now. I spend about 10 minutes over the day just letting him sit on my finger for a few minutes at a time. Sooner or later, I’d like to make him an outside the cage play pen attached to his cage so he can come out and play with the kids.
I happen to think he’s far prettier than Rory was, but don’t tell Jaxon that
Every single night I suffer a huge case of procrastination. The boys go down at about 8 now. Jaxon nods off between then and 9pm depending on how busy his day was and how much we yell at him to be quiet and go to sleep. But when they go down, I procrastinate. I’m tired enough to just go to bed right then and there. But then I start thinking about all the things I want or need to do that I can’t do while the boys are awake.
For instance, I can’t paint while Dexter is awake because he would be getting in to all sorts of trouble while I wasn’t watching. Not to mention he’d probably try to HELP me paint. I can’t paint at the moment while Jaxon is awake or around because he got his paints confiscated for a while for “accidentally” painting a hand print on the wall. I do think it was accidental, but the lesson still needed to be taught.
Then I have several other projects going all at once. I’m making lot’s and lot’s of origami paper cranes to hang from the ceiling either in Dexter’s room or in the corridor that connects all of our bedrooms to each other so we can all enjoy them. That I can’t do in front of Jaxon because he wants to make them too and can’t do it yet. I have tried to get him to make paper airplanes which he can do very well while I do my birds but it’s not good enough for him.
And of course, when they go to bed I noticed all the little things around the house that could be done quickly without them in my way. Like tidying up the kitchen bench. Walking in the kitchen with Dexter in there is like having to do the waltz with him because he is literally my shadow. If I open the dish washer, he’s in it. If I open a draw, he’s in it. Ug!
Well last night my procrastination began at about 8.30pm. I wanted to watch the end of a movie that I had started watching a few nights earlier. So I did. Then some other things happened and it was midnight before we ACTUALLY went to bed. But for those few hours I kept repeating to myself…I should just go to bed. I should go to bed. Go to bed. Right after this bit, I’ll go to bed. But I didn’t. And I regretted it.
Dexter’s become a good sleeper again, now that the majority of his teeth have pushed through (3 on top, two on bottom…none appear to be coming through at the moment) and I don’t “expect” him to wake in the middle of the night anymore. But last night, just as I nodded off he woke up at 1am.
As I got out of bed Tim said to me that he was sorry I had to get up, and even more sorry, but he hoped he would be asleep by the time I got back. As I leaned over to pick up my ugg boots I saw that Dexter’s crying had woken Jaxon. So I turned to him with a snigger and said “That’s ok, you can deal with THAT one”
Well, the plan had been that Jaxon would snuggle with Daddy until I got back (a bottle only takes 10 minutes now and he goes right back down) Well, when I got back…this is what I found.
With my back the way it is I can’t lift Jaxon, and waking him to move him back to his own bed would have caused more trouble than it’s worth. I didn’t have the heart to wake Tim because he’s not sleeping well at the moment so I decided to sleep on the couch for the night.
Normally, Jaxon is up with the birds. But this morning, if I hadn’t set an alarm to wake them both up at 8.30am I’m pretty sure he would have just kept sleeping. Maybe he needs a king sized bed with life sized Daddy doll (with snoring box in back) to keep him sleeping in!?
I put the black pillow under him because he had looked much like he was going to slip off the bed when I checked on him at 2am.
A few weeks ago Tim and I had an appointment to attend at the hospital together. On the way, Tim ran out of petrol and had to push his bike a good kilometer to the nearest petrol station. While I waited for a parking spot, in the off street car park we frequent, I got this news via text. I pulled in to the empty space and got out of the car to call Tim. Then I was running late so I rushed to get both boys out of the car and off to the appointment we went.
On return to the car park, it turned out that I’d actally parked in a NO PARKING space without even noticing. We got a $122 fine for doning that. Even though we technically PAID for the car to park in that particular parking lot. The last three spots in it are reserved as NO PARKING with a tiny little sign that no one takes notices of, because after all, you’re in a parking lot…which you pay to park in. Needless to say, we were pissed. It’s purely revenue raising bullshit that traps people in to parking in three spots that are not car parking spaces.
But I just found this interesting article and thought to share it with you because it made me giggle. I hope it makes you giggle too and wish I’d had just as many good excuses to get myself out of a parking fine!
This is the infringement notice this man recieved in 2004.
You can click on the image to get a clearer view.
This was his response to said notice.
New Zealand Police
PO Box 9147
INFRINGMENT NOTICE NS3735700
Yesterday, I was presented with the above infringement notice (copy attached for your records) while returning home from the Parachute music festival at Mystery Creek near Hamilton over the long Auckland Anniversary weekend. I had a most excellent weekend, but that is not why I’m writing to you at this time. Unfortunately, there are a couple of irregularities with the infringement notice that are causing me some consternation and hopefully you can clear them up or, preferably, forget about the whole thing entirely.
Firstly, the ‘date of offense’ is listed as the 23rd of June 1974 with the time being at or around half past six in the evening. This is of grave concern to me because I was not issued a drivers license until sometime in 1990 and I have no desire to be charged with driving while not legally licensed. I do not have a clear recollection of very much at all before I was three and a half years old, so I rang Mum to see if she remembered what I was doing that day. She said that – coincidentally – I was born that day!!
Mum mentioned that I was born at around five o’clock in the evening on that day in Porirua, which is not far from Wellington. She also said Porirua was a bustling suburb of young, low-income people who were trying to get ahead. Back in the 70′s, people were coming to terms with oil shocks, high-inflation and wage freezes, but that’s not important right now.
For me to have traveled from Porirua to the foot of the Bombay Hills just out of Auckland by six thirty, I would had to have crawled into the first car in the hospital parking lot and headed for Auckland at around 1,000 km/h. For this reason, it is entirely possible that the constable who clocked me back in 1974 was holding his laser equipment upside down and instead of doing 116 km/h as per the infringement notice, it is more likely that I was doing 911 km/h.
This is where it starts to get really strange. The car that I must have crawled into had the same license plate number as the one I have now – AEH924 (according to the infringement notice). However, my car is a dark gray Nissan Bluebird SSS, with dual cup holders, 1800cc’s of grunt, air-conditioning and electric windows.
You will notice that a time-travel option is not included on this model, so that rules out any ‘Back to the Future’ issues and the car I was driving back then could not have been the the one I drive today.
This is clarified by the infringement notice which states that the vehicle was a Honda saloon. How this relates to my Nissan Bluebird, I cannot fathom. I can only hypothesize that, back in 1974, the first range of proto-type Hondas had an automated number plate changing mechanism (like on the A-Team) which were used to avoid parking tickets and facilitate safer getaways from burglaries, armed hold-ups and the like.
So to recap, it appears that on my birthday on June 23rd 1974, I crawled out of the maternity ward, hijacked a seriously high powered Honda saloon with an automated number plate changing mechanism, drove to Auckland at close to Mach 1, was pulled over approaching the Bombay Hills and unwittingly changed the automated number plate changing mechanism to show the same number as a car I would own almost thirty years later!! (The chance of selecting the same number plate is a mere 1 in 308,915,776 – so quite conceivable)
I am currently residing at the address listed at the top of this letter. I expect you will want to apprehend me fairly shortly now that we’ve established that I may have committed the following offenses:
- Grand theft auto (I probably stole the Honda as my parents drove a white Ford Cortina at that stage)
- Driving without a license
- Driving at a ludicrous speed using a motor vehicle
- Evading the law using an automated number plate changing mechanism.
If you could provide a clearer indication as to why the ‘date of offence’ is the same as my birthday, and why the vehicle make and type bears no resemblance to the number plate listed on the infringement notice, it would be appreciated. Mind you, I wouldn’t be too disappointed if we agreed to let this one go. I could really use the $120 dollars as I’m lowering my Nissan, installing excessively noisy waste-gate and boring it out for better performance in the street drags down Te Irirangi drive and around Weymouth.
Thank you for considering my submission, I look forward to hearing from you.
This was the response he recieved.
Dexter is taking after his big brother and forming the cutest ever mohawk. The only thing is it only sticks up when it’s wet!!
Jaxon’s Mow disappeared as soon as he had his first hair cut…so Dexter is never getting a hair cut!
(I have to dig out pictures of Jaxon’s one, his was super cute and stuck up without being wet or needing gel!)
This was floating about on facebook a few weeks ago.
One of my girls is a teacher and wanted something a little more exciting to put up on her classroom wall so I turned it in to this…
While Mum is sitting on the toilet…
Jaxon: It’s easier to wee if you stand up Mum!
For a few weeks now I’ve had alarm bell’s going off in my head about Tim and him possibly having another attack. He would sometimes tell the same story to the same person as if it hadn’t been told. Or he would have shaky hands when he was cleaning his glasses to get on the bike. One night I asked him to get something up high with Jaxon’s little white step, which has a wide base and a wide top step and his foot missed it entirely.
I’d been asking him to call his MS nurse that entire time just to discuss it all with her. But I think he was in a bit of denial. Not to mention that his school year is coming to an end soon and it would be the worst time of all to miss a lot of school.
Finally, he came home and admitted that he had pins and needles or numbness through his right hand. Where the last attack was his left. So we made all of the call’s we needed to make and Tim once again, sat in the ER waiting to be seen by a Doctor. He was treated really well. Even visited by the ward manager. We wonder if it was because just three days before hand I’d sent in my complaint and they put two and two together. They must have thought…treating one of them is bad enough…treating both of them badly is A Current Affair worthy.
Well, they gave him two treatments of steroids. Which will slow things down or halt it all together. But we’re still unsure if it WAS an attack or IS an attack. Until he get’s to have another MRI we wont know. But we suspect that if it IS an attack he will need to return for another (full) treatment of steroids. We don’t know at this point.
Last night when we all returned home from dinner at Nanny and Poppy’s we knew something was wrong right away. Rory was not on his perch saying hello to us. So we called out a couple times from the kitchen and I whispered that I thought he might be dead. Sure enough, there was Rory, dead as a door nail on the bottom of the cage.
We’re not entirely sure why he died. He was only 4 months old. But it was my birthday and then the following day Tim was admitted to hospital for a possible repeat MS attack and we had two very late nights.
Normally, I take Rory out during the day for some sun and bring him in before it gets cold. But on those two nights, he got left out in the cold all night because I forgot he was out there. So maybe he got a cold. At least, I hope he got a cold because otherwise I wonder if I did something wrong in terms of his care. I hope not!
Jaxon handled it like a champ. He doesn’t quite comprehend that Rory wont be coming back. Or that Rory isn’t getting cold in the ground. But I think he’s starting to get it. We spoke about my brother Terry who died and how he died. And how he wont get to meet Terry because Terry is dead. We spoke to him about how Mum and Dad would die one day and that all of the grandparents and possibly some of his friends would die one day. We told him that’s how life is. People are born as babies and grow and live their lives but one day everything dies.
When he told me “Mum, I’m going to miss Rory” I patted him on his chest and told him that we all missed him, but that he would always be alive in our hearts” So he replied that Rory was going to make him die. This worried me, since I thought maybe he was taking the death thing too literally. But what he said after that was “If Rory’s in my heart it wont be able to beat” Bless him.
Jaxon and I went and bought three plants and we dug a hole and buried Rory and planted the tree next to him. We made up a little rock with Rory’s name on it so Jaxon would always know where he was.
We all miss Rory. It’s possible that I’m missing him more than anyone else because he would sit on my desk right here and chat to me while I did things. We’ll get another bird in a few weeks.
Jaxon is holding two texter’s connected to each other waving it around like a wand.
Jaxon: Mum look, I’m an ata-ka-dab-ka!
Mum: You’re a what?
Jaxon: An ata-ka-dab-ka!!!
Mum: Oh, you’re a Wizard!!
Jaxon: Yeah, I’m a lizard…ata-ka-dab-ka!
Way back in another life time, I worked with research animals at Monash University Animal House. A place where we looked after and bred all kinds of lab animals for research. Don’t hate me. You’ve been using products or getting medicine that was tested on animals all of your life. AND, even when they say they’re not tested on animals (ie: make ups) it doesn’t mean that every single other combination of the product wasn’t tested on animals before WATER was added to complete it.
I was only 19 at the time. It was my first job and the first person that I got to meet in the tea room was a girl named Kelly.
It all started off as a simple note left in her pigeon hole. Then one left in mine. Then, it became a competition to find the most creative way to leave letters for each other. I did one in a bottle. She wrapped one in aluminum foil. I used pegs to secure the edges and so on. When she drove herself (with Tonka) around Australia on her long service leave she took my pegs with her and sent me photo’s of them all over the place.
But after a while, our letters started getting longer…and longer. She would sit outside in the mornings with her dog Tonka having a few smokes and writing to me while I would sit at the lunch room table writing one to her. We’d spend all week writing about our separate lives and then we’d each end up with a 30 page letter by the end of the week.
In 2000, I hit a rough patch and Kelly took me in. I lived with her until I was just about to have a huge break down (my biggest by far) and moved back in with my Dad. I pushed her away. Stopped writing my letters and never started again. We lost contact and I’ve missed her ever since.
Once again, thanks to the beauty of Facebook, we’re back in touch. And writing letter’s again.
She’s just about to leave for Thailand. Every year she goes and volunteer’s to help with her most favorite animal in the world, Elephants. You can read about what she does and where she does it here. It’s AMAZING what she does to help these Elephants out of chains.
Well, when I found out I had 20 days to write a letter I decided to make it VERY LONG. I mean, mega long. It turned in to 147 pages of writing and sharing blog posts from here and my other blogs. I made up my own front cover, added a pretend table of contents, added quotes and had two fake “The Ends”
Here is the cover I made (I am so proud of my little bound book…I am going to bind every letter from now on)
And here is our page of quotes…
Dedicated to Kelly
*So enthralling that I shit my pants
*Best thing Iâ€™ve read since â€œGreen Eggs and Hamâ€.
*Now the questions of the universe have been answered.
Albert Einstein (1941)
*After reading this, I no longer need to paint.
Leonardo Da Vinci (1500)
Charlie Sheen (2011)
*Maybe sheâ€™s hiding â€œWeapons of Mass Destructionâ€
George Bush (2001)
*We Have a new Scriptureâ€
Dalai Lama (2011)
*Best bang since the big one
Stephen Hawking (2000)
Over the years I’ve lost most of the letter’s that she sent so long ago. I know I have a few of them stored here and there in boxes that I never look in. But this time, I know just how special our letter writing was and I’m never going to throw out another one of her letters. I am going to buy a special box just to store them in, so I can always have them handy.
She’s gone for two months this time. I can NOT wait until she gets back so we can catch up in person. I have missed her and thought of her always and never forgotten the special friendship that we shared through letter writing alone.
Thirty Four today! Every year, for the next few months…Tim call’s me a cradle snatcher because he’s three months younger than me now.
I had a wonderful day. The boys all sat at the table and made me cards and then in the morning I got given little gifts from the boys to open and then Tim gave me a big pack full of professional painting brushes from my oil painting “teacher/idol” Bob Ross.
We went to Nanny and Poppy’s for dinner and they got me a choc orange mud cake from the Cheese Cake factory…basically just for me!! No one else really ate it. I can’t take a photo of that for you because it’s ALL gone…and I’m not weighing myself for another three months!
I had such a lovely day and I’d like to say thank you to my wonderful boys, and in laws and everyone that sent cards and emails and made phone calls to say Happy Birthday! It was a wonderful day!!
My Melbourne best friend Tasha was in a bit of a bind one day when she had to work and had no one else to look after her kids. I volunteered even though under normal circumstances I would have asked her to find someone else. I was terrified. I’ve never looked after anyone else’s kids and the thought of having THREE more was just….intimidating!
They did fine though. I guess I did too. Once they’d settled in they did everything I asked of them. They were perfect for me.
The best thing was they kept Jaxon out of my hair for the day!
This was when Tasha picked them up at about 11pm after her shift. About ten minutes after that…I looked pretty much the same!!
Thanks to the world of facebook, I very often come across sayings that other friends have found that hit a chord. I thought I’d start sharing. These are the thoughts that make me want to raise my kids RIGHT. Like old school gentleman.
The four hardest tasks on earth are neither physical nor intellectual feats, but spiritual ones: To return love for hate; to include the excluded; to forgive without apology, and to be able to say “I was wrong”.
How true, right??
I mentioned in an earlier post that while I was still suffering from sciatic and back pain I had to go to hospital for an overnight stay. I was treated very badly and this is just the start of my official complaint letter. I can’t sit at the computer for huge amount of time so the letter will take a while. There are four or five more incidents similar to this one and I’ll share it all here as I get through my letter.
This day, was by far the worst day of my life. I could not move. If I did any number of muscles would seize up. Sometimes for more than ten minutes at a time. If you could imagine a charlie horse cramp in your leg and then imagine them happening…in every muscle of your back all at once. Or in every muscle of your back all at once as well as all of one side of your body. Imagine having a cramp in your cheek muscle, right under your eye. In your neck, so you couldn’t ever turn left or right. In your big toes, in the arch of your foot. Having your achilles heel feel as if someone has grabbed it and is wringing it out just like a wet towel. I even had one of my eye lids seize up. It was much like my body was in labor, going through full body contractions that I could do absolutely nothing about. I physically could not move myself out of them and spent time frozen on the floor, the couch, in bed and in the bath.
This went on for more than ten hours before I decided it wasn’t going to stop and had to call an ambulance because I would not have been able to sit in the car without screaming all the way to hospital. My only relief was having Tim and Jaxon there to help me through it. To help me move out of a position just to try and stop the cramps. So going to hospital, was meant to be BETTER than the care my husband and four year old son could offer me at home.
It turned out to be the exact opposite in every way, and I will not sit here and let those heartless Dr’s and nurses get away scott free in regards to how I was treated over a 24 hour period.
As discussed on the phone I wish to make an official complaint about the treatment that I received in my recent visit to the Emergency Department of â€œsaid hospitalâ€. I believe that the way I was treated for my 24 hour stay was unprofessional, unethical and at times, inhumane. I left the care of the facility feeling belittled traumatised and humiliated. I wish to bring this to your attention. I expect that serious attention will be given to this matter as I am extremely unhappy with how I was treated.
I wont go in to the details of my medical condition, as I know my medical files will tell you of my visits and history. For your information, you can contact Doctor Zaid whom I have been seeing for this issue for quite a few months now at the Health Care Centre in Hoppers Crossing for further records of my pain and management of said pain.
I will tell you that my leg pain started in the 32nd week of my pregnancy (November 2010) At that point it was mild sciatic pain in my upper leg. I expected it would go when I had my baby on December the 1st 2010 but it continued to get worse after he was born. By the time I started seeing Dr Zaid eight weeks later, I was experiencing all sorts of sciatic and back pain and unable to walk, stand or hold my baby for more than a few minutes at a time. I have been house bound for months.
On the 27th of July, at 1.30am I started to have full body cramps and spasms that could not be stopped. Perhaps you already know what sciatic pain can do to someone but Iâ€™d like to put it here, just so that the issue of the severity of my pain when I called the Ambulance cannot be questioned.
A sciatica muscle spasm is the most painful of all back and leg pain symptoms. Spasms occur when a muscle contracts violently and uncontrollably, ever tightening in a vice-like grip of shear agony.
For nearly 10 hours I stayed at home with my husband and two sons having cramps that would last up to ten minutes and occur up to three or four times an hour. I was desperate for relief when I finally called the ambulance.
They arrived and picked me up and I was brought to the Emergency Department. I was wheeled in to the entrance where I assumed we were waiting for a room to be seen by a Doctor. I was laying on the Ambulance gurney going through one of these attacks when I was told they were going to put me in the ED waiting room to wait for a room. Hearing this news, I had a panic attack, and could not move anything but my neck. I was hysterical and begging them not to take me in to a public place in that condition.
At this point I would like to mention that the male Ambulance officer who attended my pick up told me â€œDonâ€™t you think youâ€™re laying it on a bit thick?â€
I was placed in a wheel chair, frozen in pain, crying and begging not to be left alone, and wheeled in to the emergency waiting room in this condition. The ambulance officers simply walked off without looking back. This, I must say, was the most humiliating experience I have ever had to endure in my entire life. And Iâ€™ve been through child birth twice. I had people staring at me. I had no way of contacting my husband to come and help me. I could not move to get my phone. And my cries for help from your staff were completely ignored.
I could not go through this again. It was just awful. I was crying. Jaxon was crying. And Tim had to watch as the love of his life lay writhing in pain on the floor.
If anyone would like to comment and help me get through this letter without it sounding too over the top or too rude (because I am furious now, I was just traumatized when this happened. Now I’m flaming mad!) please feel free to edit this or any other part I put up and put it in to the comments section so I can get it just right.
Imagine if you will, walking in to the garage to go to your car, which is parked just outside. And then imagine…that as the doors begin to lift, your four year old son starts to whimper and walk backwards for no reason that you can see.
Then, imagine, that…this….was standing nose to nose with your four year old. And how THAT went.
That, is what happened to US today!
Now, I’m a dog person. I’ve taken all sorts of lost dogs in and helped them find their owners rather than send them off to the pound. But THIS dog, was not a very nice dog. It let loose on us for a second and then ran down the street.
I took Jaxon to school. Dropped him off. And when I returned the dog was STILL in the street. Sitting under the veranda of a house across the street. I tried very hard to woo her. But she was un-woo-able. VERY un-woo-able.
I had no choice but to call the local ranger, who came within half an hour. But what a funny hour I had watching THEM trying to woo her!
Firstly, they pulled straight in to the drive way and nearly hit the dog, which promptly jumped up and attacked the car. They tried talking to her. They tried yelling at her to go in. All the while, not daring to get out of their car.
Then, they tried FOOD. But this un-woo-able dog was just getting a free feed. The ranger figured out she was well trained, would throw out some food, ask her to sit (which she would) and slowly bring her closer to the car where the driver lay in wait with that big long dog catching stick.
But each and every time they got her close enough to the car to grab her she simply ran back to the safety of her little alcove. This went on for 45 minutes. Being the nosy neighbour that I am I video taped all of this!) until they actually had to call in back up.
Well, the back up drove right up in to the drive way, got out of his van and yelled at the dog to get back inside like a mad man. So the dog, scared now…ran down the side way. Where this big burly man followed her, yelled some more and then caught her with his big long stick thingee.
Jaxon was the kind of baby that didn’t give two hoots where Tim and I were in the house. He didn’t care if he couldn’t see us. Or hear us. Or anything. He just liked to be left to his own devices and would actually walk (or crawl) away from us if we tried to join him in play.
Dexter on the other hand, likes to know where we are. He likes to follow me about the house and just explore the rooms I go in. Undo washing as I do it kind of thing. Not annoying at all.
So, the other night when I needed to tidy the kitchen up and he was wanting to be under my feet all the time I put him in his high chair facing me and let him loose on some chocolate mousse.
I think he might have enjoyed it a tiny little bit.
JUST A LITTLE BIT!!!
(as a side note, Jaxon wont even get his hands messy like this NOW. When I asked if he wanted to try some the little clean freak went and got a spoon to take it off the tip of my finger!)
I’ve barely mentioned here at all about my last 8 months of absolute misery and pain. Way back in 2003 I hurt my lower back. I couldn’t walk for about two weeks and then it went good. So nothing came of it. I had two flare ups. One at the end of 2008 and the other when we just got back from Queensland.
Then, when I got pregnant…I didn’t even get little niggles in my back. Not once. But I did however get a touch of sciatica in my left leg towards the very end. I got told it goes away once the baby is born.
But that wasn’t true for me. Because the sciatic pain was not being caused by the growing baby putting pressure on that nerve. It was in fact, a slipped disc getting worse. A slipped disc that was protruding and squeezing my sciatic nerve leading in to my left leg.
For a few weeks after Dexter was born it was mild pain that turned in to pins and needles towards the end of the day. Then it started getting sore almost as soon as I got up in the morning. It turned from a mild ache to a leg that was so sore I couldn’t walk on it for more than a few minutes at a time.
It was a pain like no other I have ever experienced. And Dexter’s 27 hour labor wasn’t a walk in the park, let me tell you! Sciatica pain moves and changes every few minutes. They call it chameleon pain. It doesn’t stay the same and it varies in intensity. For half an hour it would feel like someone was pushing in to my left ass cheek with a hot poker. Then, it would feel like my entire leg had been frozen solid. Or I’d have a dead foot with pins and needles that would radiate UP the leg in to my back if I stayed on it too long. Sometimes it felt like someone had put my achilles tendon in to a vice. Muscles would seize up and not release for hours. It didn’t matter what kind of pain it was, at every second of every day…there was some kind of unbearable pain making it impossible to walk on for more than a few minutes at a time.
I was house bound for about 5 months. Only leaving to visit Nanny and Poppy with Tim and the boys. I stopped being able to walk to do the weekly shop. I couldn’t pick Dexter up for more than a minute. Tim had to get me dressed or undressed some mornings and nights because I couldn’t bend my leg or my back. I had to sit on the floor in the shower. I couldn’t sit at the dinner table and I certainly could not stand in the kitchen long enough to cook a meal (even 2 minute noodles!) for the family. Tim had to take over almost every aspect of my life, from shopping to being a bit of my slave by getting called here and there through the house to help me with the boys. I had two visits to the ER, one home Dr visit and an ambulance ride in to hospital (where I was treated very badly, I should write about that!!)
Well, my girls! I’ve talked about them often and everyone I know knows who I am talking about by now. But all of a sudden we started getting cards and letters in the mail.
Three of them contained gift cards. Nearly $200 worth of money from people whom I’ve never met but have been incredibly close with since 2006.
They suggested that I pamper myself with it but I figured that would be a short term pick me up. I wanted to buy something with that money that reminded me that there are people all over the world who love and care for me!
This is what I did. Now, they will be with me…as long as I can keep those things alive!
From the bottom of my heart, I thank each and every one of my girls who helped to contribute to those gift cards. And to those who didn’t but would have if they’d known about it…I thank you too. Because its the thought that counts. Just knowing that you would have been willing to contribute means the world to me. Your friendship and support is priceless!
Now I have to clean!!!!
I’m always telling Poppy that he is my one loyal reader. Probably the only person who checks to see if we’ve posted every day. Work gets slow sometimes you see
Anyway I thought I’d test the theory. And invite him over for roast dinner TONIGHT. The 25th of August.
You can let Tim know via text and he will let me know. I promise…it will be roast like you had when you were little. None of that funny stuff….just roast.
I will need to know by 4pm so I can cook for two extra.
I doubt I need to explain this one!
Last week he was barely crawling.
Now he keeps up with us about the house!!
I think I’ve mentioned here a few times now that when I got pregnant with Jaxon I joined an online forum of woman who were expecting their babies in the same month as me. That was back in April of 2006. Now, five years on, we are still the best of friends. I have not met a single one of them, until now.
Jeannette is from South Africa. Her first born son James, was born 7 days after Jaxon. She and I have spoken on the phone, sent texts and emails. But finally, she came out to visit us!!
I was so nervous! What if she doesn’t like me?? Because a computer personality compared to an “in person” personality are two very different things. I had planned out my day perfectly. I was going to do some cleaning in the morning then shower and blow dry my hair in the afternoon. I was going to put on some make up and smell all pretty. I was going to go across to Coburg to buy Turkish food for them because it’s my favourite food in all of Melbourne. It was going to be special!
When the day finally arrived I had a shit of a night the day before. Tim, Jaxon and I were all sick with the flu. Jaxon was up coughing and spluttering all night and Dexter of course needed a bottle or two over night. They tag teamed me ALL night. So I decided I was too tired to sit in the car to get the Turkish (given that the entire trip would be spent in agony at not being able to move my leg to stop it hurting) and got Tim to pick up a hot chicken and some nibblies on his way home. I had a nap. I set an alarm for three, since she was arriving at 4pm. I was going to get up, have a shower and do my hair. But when I woke up at three and Dexter was still asleep and Tim and Jaxon were having fun together…I slept. Until I got woken by the door bell!
There was Jeannette, at MY front door! I didn’t have Turkish food to feed her. I didn’t clean the things I wanted to clean. I probably smelt really bad and my hair was a mess. But it was still special.
We sat and talked for hours like we were old friends just catching up. Not once did we run out of things to say. Tim and George hit it off with conspiracy theory’s and James and Jaxon didn’t bother us all night! They were so good to each other and played nicely all night with very little yelling from the adults. It was a fantastic night and we were all very sad that we couldn’t have spent more time together. Tim and I wanted to go along with them for a day or night but couldn’t because of my stupid leg and back.
It’s funny. Because a year ago Jeannette did a tour of the US where she went and met almost everyone off our forum. I kept imagining that it would be intimidating to meet all of those new people when you’ve known each other for so long via the internet. Would they have certain expectations of me given what they know of me already. I would NEVER have wanted to do it because in my mind it was going to be a bunch of awkward moments. But now, having met Jeannette…I want to go and meet all of the woman from our forums!!
It’s going to take quite a few years to get there. We have 2 and a half years left to see Tim through his degree in Engineering. Then we’d probably need to sort out our finances once he got a job.Â But THEN, we can start saving for the trip of a life time! The kids will be older and it will be a great experience for them. I am 100% confident that the woman I am friends with now will be very close friends for years to come. We chat every day about random bullshit. We lean on each other through rough days with the kids. We comfort each other during hard times. And we laugh, so hard. It’s a very intimate group of woman and I can’t imagine my day not including some word from someone about how they’re doing, whats happening in their lives.
I can’t wait to have photo’s like this of ALL of my girls! Perhaps, all in one spot! They’ve already had to meet ups and I’m always missing out. One day I’ll be there at Myrtle Beach!
You thought I was joking, didn’t you Poppy??