When Daddy jumped out to scare Jaxon…

“Dad just heart attacked me”

Jaxon read his book to me all by himself and I was so proud I told him he deserved a special sticker for doing so well. We searched in the drawers where the stickers normally are but couldn’t find any. After exhausting all possible spots for the stickers to be and determining that we probably wouldn’t find any Jaxon looked up at me and said “Maybe I don’t deserve a sticker??”

In the car on the way to school the other morning Jaxon complained that the radio was too loud. I’d just turned it up to listen to the news because the kids were being so noisy in the back seat I couldn’t hear a thing. So I told Jaxon “Then you two need to quiet down back there” His excuse for being so loud?? “We are pretending to be your radio”

Jaxon: Mum, Dad. Guess what?
M&D: What? What??
Jaxon: I went to the toilet without the light on.
Daddy: Good for you. Buddy.
Mum: Um, how about we leave the light turned on for a few more years Jaxon. What if you miss the toilet and wee on the wall? Mummy needs to clean that up. Yuk.
Dad: Yeah, ok (wise and wonderful almighty thinking ahead wife of my children) how about for now you just use the lights so you can see the toilet bowl Jaxon.
Jaxon: I don’t need to though.
Mum: Why?
Jaxon: I have my glow in the dark Pj’s on so I can see.

Jaxon: Does Elmo rhyme with Felmo Mum?
Mum: Yes Jaxon, it does. But Felmo isn’t a real word.
Jaxon: Yes it is.
Mum: Oh yeah? What does Felmo mean?
Jaxon: It means Elmo dies. Because he’s very old.

I KNOW!! Stop yelling at me! Yes, it’s been a while since I blogged. No, I didn’t really have a good excuse. But, I’m here now and I’ve caught you up so if you haven’t already, all of the blog posts up to “Battle of the Will’s # 2″ are new so go catch up now and quit bitching at me!!

To be honest, I got all depressed about Dexter’s hair cut for a few days (yes, I really did) and then I had two sick kids for a week. Then I had a visit from Grandma, another sick kid, a dirty desk and a lot of other things to do that were far more interesting than this. Like, I did some oil paintings. No, you can’t see them. Because they’re not finished. And they’re not good enough to be seen yet.

Anyway, enough is enough. I’m here and to my one true loyal reader, I’m sorry. I know you’ve been having a hard time of not having me to keep you company at work but now I’m back!!

So just quickly, here’s a Jaxon-ism for you, fresh off the press!

Last night Jaxon woke up from a bad dream about big giant ants chasing him. This conversation happened at 3am in the morning.

Jaxon: Mum, is your back still sore?
Mum: Sometimes. But mostly Jaxon there’s something wrong in my back that makes it so my leg hurts. (rubbed hand down his spine to show where it was wrong and how it travel’s down in to my leg)
Jaxon: Maybe you ate a nail Mum?
Mum: (supressed laughter) Maybe.
Jaxon: I do that all the time.

On the way home from school…

Jaxon: Can I go for a ride when we get home??
Mum: Where would you go?
Jaxon: Just out.
Mum: I think you might be a bit too young to go out by yourself just yet Jaxon.
Jaxon: I promise I’ll come back.

Tonight while I was doing the dishes Jaxon and Dexter gave themselves a task. To move their toy box from point A to point B, one and a half meter’s away. It took them fifteen minutes. There was a lot of “No Dexter, we’re pushing now. Dexter we’re not pulling anymore!” and “Do it like this Dexter”

When they had finally got it done Jaxon announced “I moved the toy box for you Mum” I thanked him. Then, he continued… “so you can vacuum where it used to be”

During our second Battle of Will’s (there have been three now, and I’ve won all three. He ate everything on his plate tonight!) he sat at the table trying to tell our house mate why he couldn’t eat his dinner. When she said all he had to do was eat and he could leave the table he put his hands up to his head and said “I’m so infused” (confused!)

Look. This is getting REALLY hard!

The Jaxon-ism’s are coming hard and fast and I can’t remember half of them by the end of the day! Especially when he spits these things out in the car more often than not. I have a book on the table outside to write it all in. I have the mobile when I’m out and about. But I can’t stop looking at the roads!!

So, the other day we took our Soul Family in to Melbourne to see some of the sights. We got the City Circle Tram in to the Old Melbourne Gaol, then back down to Flinders Street to the Yarra and then home. A loooooong day!

On the way home we stopped for more booze. James and Harry were fast asleep in the car when Jaxon asked where they were.

Jaxon: Where’s James and Harry?
Mum: Asleep in the car.
Jaxon: Why?
Mum: Because that’s what normal kids do in the car after a long day!
Jaxon: I’m not normal!
(Dexter was not asleep either!?!?)

On the way to get Jaxon new texta’s after school last Friday.

Mum: We’re going to get you new texta’s Jaxon.
Jaxon: Jessica got new texta’s.
Mum: Did she??
Jaxon: Yeah. I don’t want the same texta’s as Jessica. That would just be weird.

When we got home from the texta shop, Dexter was still in day care. So Jaxon got all of his texta’s and all of his new pens and a pad of paper to go crazy on. But the rule was that when we got back with Dexter he would have to have them ALL away and have ALL of the lids on. So we went to Nanny and Poppy’s for pizza (yum!) and when we got home the texta’s were ALL over the lounge room floor. I had to help him get them all packed up and every single lid had been taken off.

While we’re doing it I am getting frustrated at him. I kept saying “Jaxon! Why did you take ALL of the lids off!?” and towards the end of our 20 minute exercise in matching lids to pens he said to me “I think I got a bit carried away didn’t I Mum?” (You think!?)

The other afternoon Daddy hopped in the sandpit with Jaxon and started making sand castles with him. He pulled the bucket up on one sand castle and then on another. The turrets on one had come off and the turrets on the other were still there. Jaxon pointed at the one with turrets and said “Hey that one’s got turrets”

Now, I write turrets as if I actually knew what that word was 5 days ago. But I didn’t! I’ll wait here while you go and google turrets…

Daddy looked over at me and I looked at him questioningly and he nodded. Yes, they really are called turrets.

When asked where he learned that from…he told us Mr Maker. A craft show we have for him where Mr Maker makes bigger junk out of smaller junk you’d find in your kitchen. Empty boxes become money boxes. Plates and paint become spiders and what not. I hate Mr Maker…but he taught Jaxon about turrets. And Jaxon taught me about turrets. So I guess I have to go easy on him.

While I was hanging out the washing Jaxon came out to me and asked me if I could get him roller skates. It was like he was reading my mind when he said “I don’t know where I get these good idea’s from Mum!”

In the car with Dad.

Jaxon: Mum, did you tell Dad about when I was at the park and I was camping and I saw the fire works??
Mum: Um, I don’t remember that Jaxon…
Jaxon: Neither do I

On wanting to go to Daniel’s house for a play date over the holidays and being told over and over that he couldn’t because Mum was sick.

Jaxon: Are you a bit sick Mum?
Mum: Yes.
Jaxon: Are you a tiny bit sick Mum?
Mum: Yes Jaxon.
Jaxon: But not a lot sick any more right?
Mum: I feel better now Jaxon but I’m not well yet.
Jaxon: Can we go to Daniels now then?

And last but not least, and possibly not even a Jaxon-ism. Someone at his school has taught him a new song. So now Jaxon sings in the back seat of the car on the way home “Bad boys, bad boys…what ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when they come to poo??” I couldn’t help but laugh the first time he did this. And now I’m am totally over being asked “Is that still funny Mum?”

On the way home from Nanny and Poppy’s in the dark

Jaxon: Hey! The moons following us!
Mum and Dad: Is it??
Jaxon: That’s funny. The moon doesn’t have legs!

On going to the toilet before bed…

Jaxon: Mum, I don’t want to go to the toilet, it smells.
Mum: What does it smell like Jaxon?
Jaxon: Chicken nuggets.

On the car wash we passed.

Jaxon: Hey Mum, I know what that big machine is that washes the cars!!
Mum: What’s it called Jaxon?
Jaxon: A car wash!
Mum: How do you know that Jaxon? Did you learn that at school??
Jaxon: No, I just know.

Last week both boys were sick. I think it’s really the first time I’ve ever had to deal with them both being so sick at the same time and it was TOUGH! They only had a bad cough and a very snotty running nose but they were both having trouble sleeping through the cough.

So this one night Dexter wakes up at 1.45am. I get up, give him a bottle and get him settled back down by about 3am. At which point, Jaxon wakes up during one of his coughing fits and comes out to me just as I’m heading back to bed.

He said to me “Mum, do you stay up all night every night??”

It was such a bad night. I had Dexter first, then Jaxon. Then once I got him to go back to bed Dexter woke up again and by the time HE went back to bed, Jaxon woke up for his usual morning like he wasn’t sick and didn’t need rest! By the end of the four days I had both boys home coughing at slattering at me…I certainly needed a rest!